The word ‘Boundaries’ is a popular buzz word. But do you really know what it means? Simply put, a boundary is something that tells people how to treat you. Think of it like a fence protecting your house. Somewhere in the middle of the fence is a gate. You decide when to open the gate, who to open the gate to, and when to close the gate.

Many highly sensitive people have been told that they are “Too much.” And because of this, they try to please people by not setting firm boundaries. Then there comes a feeling of shame after not setting a firm enough boundary.

One of the most important skills that couples have to master when we work together in my Houston marriage counseling practice, is how to vent to one another when they are going though stress. Being that stress is a part of life, it's important to know how to support each other. On the surface, it might just look like venting, but when you can effectively communicate your stress and frustration to your spouse, you receive support in return.

Support builds intimacy and closeness between you and your spouse.

When you are highly sensitive, emotions feel deep and intense. Sometimes you feel multiple emotions at the same time, making it difficult for you to sort through what is actually going on within you.

Because you go through so many emotions and chances are you spend so much time trying to keep these emotions under the surface, you haven't really gotten good at identifying your emotional needs.

Here are simple questions to help you identify what you need when you are overwhelmed or stressed.

Emotional intensity simply means that highly sensitive people tend to experience emotions on a much deeper level than non-sensitive people. So for example when they're happy, you might see them with a big smile on their face, acting silly or giggling a lot. When they're sad it seems like their sadness is a lot deeper than usual, or if they are upset you might see them cry. This is often puzzling to people who are non-sensitive. It is important to note that emotional sensitivity is not necessarily a bad thing.

Over arousal simply means that your nervous system picks up stimuli more easily than others. So the bright lights in the corner of the room might not affect anybody else, but you feel like they are piercing through your eyes. Here is how to manage over arousal as a highly sensitive person.

What exactly is high sensitivity?

If you have been told “You’re too sensitive,” “You cry too much,” “You need to toughen up,” “You need to not be so upset,” “You have no reason to be upset” or “You need to grow tougher skin,” then chances are you might actually be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

The holidays are upon us. If you happen to be blessed with amazing family dynamics, then you’re probably looking forward to sitting down to a good meal with your loved ones. But if you are like millions of people out there, you cringe at the thought of yet another family gathering. Because your family is known for shade, side eyes, underhanded comments, and a general feeling of thick tension in the air.

Well, never fear, here are some simple tips to help you survive the holidays this year.

Maybe your marriage has been going through some rocky times, but you’re not sure what to do about it. You and your spouse have had a few talks, but you don’t know if marriage counseling is the thing to do.

You’ve heard all types of things about marriage counseling, but you think to yourself, “Wouldn’t it be so much easier to just talk to a friend, my pastor or just pick up a book from Amazon?”

You don’t want anything that could possibly make your marriage worse.

Well let me lift the veil about marriage counseling.

If you’ve thought about going to marriage counseling in Houston you might find yourself feeling scared. That’s totally normal. After all, the challenge is for you to open up to a complete stranger about the inner workings of your marriage.

Gulp!

This can feel deeply personal. The truth is that marriage counseling does involve a certain level of honesty and vulnerability from you. However, here are a few things to know about couples therapy in Houston before you dive in.

Did you know that the average couple typically waits 6 years before seeking the help of a marriage counselor or marriage therapist? That means couples notice a problem, but they try to fight through it for 6 years!

Do you know what can happen in 6 years? You can watch your newborn become old enough to successfully start the first grade. You can get a bachelor’s degree AND a master’s degree. In 6 years you can also grow the most amazing friendship with your spouse.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. You meet this amazing, beautiful person who makes your heart flutter every time you speak to them. So you decide to take the plunge and marry them. After all, you only have eyes for them. Then years pass by and you realize your life feels like deja vu. You wake up, take the kids to school, head to work, send each other a text (or not), come home, eat dinner, clean up, sleep, rinse and repeat.

It’s the same old schedule day in and day out. Although your life feels good, you want more. So. Much. More.

You are sick and tired of the monotony in your marriage. Don’t worry. I see this all the time during couples counseling in Houston.

Here are some simple ways to boredom-proof your marriage.

One of the biggest struggles I see in my Houston couples counseling practice, is that women feel overworked and overburdened. If your wife consistently has been feeling overwhelmed, here are some ways you can better support her. It’s not just great for her, it’ll boost your marriage relationship.

Here are some reasons why married moms feel disconnected from their spouses.

As a couples therapist in Houston, I sometimes get calls from couples who say that they think they want a divorce. It is not uncommon for me to do co-parenting or ‘healthy divorce’ sessions.

Sometimes couples want a divorce, but they want to avoid all the fighting and drama that goes with it, so couples therapy for them looks like negotiating healthy boundaries so that they have as amicable a divorce as possible.

There is no loss that compares to losing someone you love. No preparation can make you completely ready for it, and it affects every aspect of life including sleep. While nothing can replace the feeling of having your beloved next to you at night, there are ways you can improve the quality of sleep you get and thereby improve your overall wellbeing. Here are some suggestions to help you through this difficult time.

These days it appears that on every show on TV, everybody and their mama, is constantly talking about going to therapy. You've played around with the idea of therapy or counseling in your head, however you're not sure what to expect.

You've heard that talking to a therapist is just like talking to your best friend. But if it is similar to talking to your best friend, then why pay money and spend time you don’t have in therapy? Why not just go to your best friend?

Here's a quick list of what to expect from counseling or therapy in the Houston area.