Why Working with a Black Therapist in Houston Matters for Your Mental Health
There is something to be said about a therapist who isn’t just filled with head knowledge and therapeutic jargon, but she is able to make you feel like she knows you from the moment you see her face flash across the screen. It is hard enough to be going through anxiety, haunted by the trauma from your past, or feeling like your marriage is imploding. But it feels like a slap in the face when you have hope that the therapist in front of you is finally going to help you turn the corner, but the therapeutic relationship completely falls flat.
I tell people that the single most important factor in the success of therapy is not how many PhDs your therapist has or how many trainings and certificates she has under her belt. It is the relationship between the therapist and the client. Impactful therapy will be holistic. It will include everything that makes you who you are. That includes highlighting your cultural identity and faith during the healing process. A skilled Black therapist in Houston understands the unspoken. She's able to weave your Christian values into your healing so that you don't have to actually change who you are to become a better version of you.
Why Representation in Therapy Matters for Black Women
Most Black women who come to see me for therapy generally feel unseen and burdened. They are the soldiers who hold the household together and carry their neighborhoods on their back. They know how to help everyone around them, how to keep trudging on. They know how to survive trauma, stress and harsh environments. They know what it takes to climb to the top and create successful careers and families without complaint. But the problem is sometimes they feel completely unseen. Their family members and friends run to them when they need help, but no one checks up on them regularly. They put everybody else as priority, but their own needs aren’t anywhere on the burner. There isn’t enough time or emotional bandwidth to even be on the burner.
When a Black woman comes to therapy, it is important that she's able to express herself fully without the fear of being misunderstood or judged. It is important that a skilled Black therapist in Houston is able to see her for who she is without introducing micro aggressions, stereotypes or pre-judgments about her. Although she might be working with a Black therapist in Houston, it is also important that the therapist knows that all Black women are different and doesn’t treat her like a case study.
Although there might be a shared cultural identity and/or religious identity among them, a skilled Black therapist in Houston is able to get even the strongest of Black women to open up, put herself on the burner again and begin the journey into difficult spaces in her heart so that they may finally be healed. Healing cannot happen when you're feeling judged and misunderstood. Healing finally happens when you find a skilled therapist who is ready to allow you to be just for you.
This is what I do. Learn more about me here.
The Power of Shared Faith and Values in the Healing Process
When you're a Christian, it's difficult to remove your Christian convictions from conversations about your marriage, your mental health, and what you're going through. And you shouldn’t have to. Because your entire life is actually rooted in your beliefs- they are the source of your values. Sometimes you crave a space where you can talk about your dreams, your convictions and your values without having to actually explain yourself to your therapist. When you work with a Christian therapist in Houston who also understands your perspective, then things are a little bit easier. It’s bad enough that you feel like trauma has you in a chokehold. The last thing you want is to begin to explain why you run your marriage the way that you do, or why you parent the way you do.
And depending on the Christian therapist in Houston that you work with, they may also be able to incorporate scriptures for deeper understanding, prayer and additional parts of your faith. Because there is no reason why we cannot invite the Holy Spirit into our therapy conversations. Let’s remember that your soul is made up of your mind, your will and your emotions. This means that when you work with a therapist, you are actually woking on healing your soul. Don’t open up your soul to just anyone. Imagine talking about a dream or vision you had last night, then the therapist starts to look at you side eyed, because she thinks you’re psychotic. Nope! This is where understanding is important.
Breaking the Silence: Addressing Mental Health in the Black Community
But before we even dive into Christian counseling in Houston, it is important to note that I am fully aware that Black people often shy away from therapy. I am also aware of the historical abuses that have happened to Black people in the mental health community. So it is important to have a consultation: do your research before you pick a therapist. Ask around to see who has helped your friends and loved ones. Check out the therapist’s website, see what their reviews are online and go with your gut. You can tell a lot about someone just by speaking to them.
If you've been hearing about therapy and you really want to give it a try, pick someone who has values that are similar to yours. You find out by asking. Ask her what her faith background is and ask her some other values based questions too. That way you know that you can be comfortable with her. Working with a Black therapist in Houston can help to reduce the shame around seeking help for your mental health. Please know that therapy is confidential, so your therapist will not be posting about you on social media or telling others your business.
Some common struggles that people have gone to therapy for are perfectionism, trauma, anxiety, trying to learn more about how to manage high sensitivity, having too high expectations of themselves and others, marriage problems and self esteem issues. This list is far from exhaustive though.
There is something special about working with someone who shares a cultural background with you. it heals you in ways that you never thought before.
Creating a Space Where You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself
Therapy is for you and it should not come with emotional labor. This means you shouldn’t have to spend 15 minutes explaining things like speaking in tongues, something dropping into your spirit, anointing your home with oil, being afraid of your mom even though you’re 40 years old, and other cultural norms. You do emotional labor at work all the time, so therapy is your time to finally breathe easy and be taken care of so you can get the tools you need to finally thrive.
It can be such a big relief to sit across from a therapist who gets you. Now of course, because you and you therapist have a common religious background or ethnicity, does not mean you are clones of each other. You should be treated like a unique being. But you get to show up as yourself. So if one day you decide to keep your bonnet and pajamas on in session, it’ll be just fine. Your Black therapist in Houston will understand the assignment and ask no further questions. If you decide to switch up your hair each week, she also will get it. No questions asked. You can then spend the time diving into family dynamics, church life, and whatever else you’ve got going on. Easy peasy. And this is one of the reasons why Black women in Houston flock to me. Because I get the immigrant perspective as a therapist who is a Nigerian immigrant myself. I can also help you bridge the gap between you and your immigrant parents (No, they don’t have to come to therapy with you).
Choosing the Right Black Christian Therapist in Houston for You
To find a therapist who is a good cultural match for you, first start with asking your friends and family members. I know you think none of them go to therapy, but as a Black therapist in Houston, let me assure you that Black women and couples are indeed investing in and working on their mental health. Ask them what they like about their therapist and see if that same therapist might work for you. Before you call them, do a quick Google search and see if they have a website. Their website will give you some more background about them. You’ll learn a bit more about their personality, their therapy style and if they share your values.
If you do not want to ask your friends or family members for a referral, you can also do a Google search. Keywords like ‘Black therapist in Houston’ or ‘Christian therapist in Houston’ can be a great beginning. Start with their reviews if they have any, then go to their website, then schedule a consult call if the therapist offers it. I would suggest scheduling a call with 3 or 4 therapists before you decide who will be your best fit. Go with your gut. Go with the person whom you feel most comfortable with and best understands you.
Write down the criteria that are important to you. It can be things like gender, spiritual background, cultural background, knowledge of high sensitivity, trauma and anxiety. Even things like knowledge of your specific ethnic background or immigrant status. Be specific. I promise there is a therapist for you out there and these things matter.
Lastly, you can try a therapist directory. There are so many of them out there. There is Psychology Today, Therapy Den, Therapy for Black Girls, African Therapist Directory, and so much more.
Ready to begin your healing journey with a therapist who truly understands your faith, culture, and sensitivity? As a trusted Black therapist in Houston and Christian therapist in Houston, I provide a safe, compassionate space for Black women to feel seen, supported, and empowered. Book your free consultation call for therapy in Houston today and take the first step toward lasting change.
About
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
