Faith, Sensitivity, and Trauma Healing: What a Christian Therapist in Houston Wants You to Know About Brainspotting

Why Highly Sensitive Women Carry Emotional Trauma Differently

No one likes trauma. No one wants it, but the unfortunate fact of life is that sometimes experiences leave us scarred, bruised and very shaken. Highly Sensitive People have deep empathy, feel things so strongly and notice so much. When they are in a situation or with someone, they tend to have strong emotional memory. So they might not remember exactly what was said or done to them, but they can actually recollect the deep feeling of pain. For others, they might remember what happened, but Highly Sensitive People will be able to go back to the emotions and feel it in their bodies- stomach feels yucky, chest tightens, head starts to hurt, etc.

And because of this strong emotional memory, trauma can feel louder and much more difficult to shake in Highly Sensitive People than non Highly Sensitive People. That deep well isn’t just great for connecting with others, but that deep well also reminds us of bad memories and experiences. Sometimes you feel so misunderstood just because you’re a Highly Sensitive Person. You don’t seem to enjoy the things that others do, they think you are “Too sensitive” or “Dramatic.” And so you spend time pretending to be someone that you’re not. This can actually lead to emotional burnout. Because so much of your energy is spent transforming into someone else- leaving no room for the authentic you.

This is where I come in. As a Christian therapist in Houston, I can provide faith-rooted understanding and comfort. My job is to help you process and get rid of trauma without belittling you. God made you highly sensitive for a reason and it’s not part of my job to change you. Rather we can collaborate on how to stay authentic in your faith, authentic in your personality and feel like you have a place in the world. Yes, it’s possible.

Understanding the Link Between Faith, Sensitivity, and Trauma: A Christian Therapist in Houston Explains

As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I’ve seen how sensitivity — though a beautiful gift — can make trauma feel heavier. But with faith and the right tools, healing is absolutely possible. Sometimes as a Highly Sensitive Person, you are so used to people invalidating your feelings, or telling you that you need to “Get over it” that you just mask your pain. You internalize it, pretend like you’re okay but deep inside you are actually struggling and drowning. Because you are a strong person, you might throw yourself into work or help other people to distract yourself from your own pain.

The thing is that trauma can affect both your heart and your spirit. Over time you find that you become resentful. Because most Highly Sensitive People that I know are actually really good at holding the pain of others, supporting others, and helping others feel so much better about themselves. But when it comes to they being supported, they have nobody to support them. Most people just assume that because they are so supportive, they don't need to be supported. And also because of your deep empathy, as a Highly Sensitive Person, you sometimes also invalidate yourself. You are so used to others telling you that you are being dramatic, that you actually gaslight yourself into believing that you're being dramatic. So you learn how to put a smile on your face well silently suffering. But you don't have to go on like this any longer.

As a Christian therapist in Houston, I integrate sensitivity awareness as well as biblical principles. And because I believe that therapy should work, I also incorporate Brainspotting therapy, which is a neuroscience-based approach that helps you actually rewire your brain so that you can have a longer lasting healing from trauma, anxiety and other difficult experiences. You don't have to struggle alone. You don't have to ignore your spiritual needs or your emotional needs. I am fully aware that you are neurodivergent and this has to be celebrated. Sometimes people run away from therapy because they have been burned by a therapist in the past who did not understand what High Sensitivity is. But I happen to understand AND live High Sensitivity. I understand trauma and I also understand the Christian faith. Therefore all parts of you are welcome in my therapy space.

What Is Brainspotting? — and Why It Works So Well for Highly Sensitive People

Brainspotting is essentially a simple way to help your brain heal trauma without having to relive it over and over again. So we know that when you go through different traumatic experiences, or just different difficult experiences, there are parts of your brain that actually store the memories as well as the emotions that are linked to the event. Because many of my clients are high performing Highly Sensitive People, they have gotten really good at pushing those memories and events to the back of their minds so that it does not get in the way of their day-to-day life. I get it. It is simply a coping mechanism. And so through the process of brainspotting, my job is to help you locate those areas in the brain where the pain is stored, to be able to process those events and memories so that your body can actually release the emotional pain that has been stored in your body for a while.

We often think running away from trauma is effective. Well, it is- until it’s not. Some people avoid certain places and things because of trauma they have experienced. Sometimes people find themselves feeling frozen at work or they struggle with distorted thought patterns like “Nobody likes me,” “I have to please everyone so that I don't get fired,” or even thoughts like '‘I am no good.” My job is to help you heal those thoughts and feelings so that they stop taking over your life.

Brainspotting is especially powerful for Highly Sensitive People who have felt overwhelmed by traditional talk therapy. As a highly sensitive person who already feels deeply, you have already felt like you have been reliving the event over and over again. So when you process trauma through traditional talk therapy, it sometimes feels like you're actually being retraumatized. But when you utilize brainspotting, you don't have to give me a play by play of what happened to you. We go directly into the center where the events are stored in your brain, so you can process them without giving me an overview. This method is gentle, precise and spiritually compatible.

Now I often tell my clients that my job is not to be your pastor. So I do not indoctrinate you, but I will pull scriptures that are in line with your experiences so that you can study and let the Holy Spirit minister onto you.

How Faith Deepens the Healing Process

Faith isn’t just a comfort during therapy — it’s a source of strength that helps you process, release, and renew your heart from the inside out. The word of God says “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he'‘ (Proverbs 23:7). Therefore we know that the words and events we meditate on have a direct correlation with who we are. This is why I introduce specific scriptures that are in line with what you are currently experience, so you may meditate on them, and in turn, they transform your life.

Your faith is at the core of who you are, so when you’re doing true transformative work, we cannot exclude faith. Faith complements trauma therapy as I offer deeper insight, there is room for prayer, surrender and spiritual reflection. You can invite God into your healing process. As a Christian therapist in Houston, I believe that faith and therapy are two parts of the same restorative process.

Healing Trauma in Relationships: How Brainspotting and the Gottman Method Help Christian Couples Reconnect

When one or both partners carry unhealed trauma, it shows up in the relationship — but through faith-based Brainspotting and the Gottman Method, couples can reconnect with grace and understanding. Brainspotting helps release the emotional reactivity that sometimes shows up as snapping at each other, crying, yelling or even shutting down. Once one or both partners have worked on their trauma, they will be in a better position to work through their relational issues. Trauma can be such a strain on a marriage. Imagine carrying a heavy emotional load on top of trying to work a job, raise kids and be present for your spouse. It’s just too much. But once you’ve dumped the trauma load, you can show up as the more peaceful, open hearted you.

As a Christian marriage therapist in Houston, I can also incorporate your biblical values into our sessions. We dive into the biblical role of a husband and wife, the role of parents, as well as how your upbringing and past experiences have led you to where you are in your marriage. We can use faith as a bridge to bring you back to a place of peace and connection.

Taking the Next Step: Begin Faith-Based Brainspotting Therapy in Houston

Healing doesn’t mean going back through every painful memory — it means letting your mind and spirit find peace again. As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I use Brainspotting to help clients release what’s been holding them back. In the first session, I will do a deep dive into your life. We will go over your family, educational, health, spiritual and emotional background- all of the elements that make you who you are, so that we can collaboratively come up with specific goals that we should focus on when we are brainspotting. This way treatment is targeted to your specific needs. No one size fits all here.

You don’t have to carry it all on your own. If you’re a highly sensitive woman longing for emotional peace and spiritual healing, I’d love to walk alongside you. As a Christian therapist in Houston who uses brainspotting, I help women release trauma and reconnect with joy — without losing their faith or sensitivity along the way. Book your free consultation for Christian trauma therapy in Houston today and let’s begin your healing journey in a safe, faith-honoring space.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

5 Misconceptions About Christian Therapy (and the Truth)

“Therapy Means You Don’t Have Enough Faith” — What a Christian Therapist in Houston Wants You to Know

As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I often hear women say they feel guilty about needing therapy — but seeking help doesn’t mean your faith is weak; it means you’re trusting God to restore you through every resource He provides. And sometimes, a therapist is the resource you need. You wouldn’t feel guilt about needing a doctor to help you with a physical challenge, so why feel guilty about being a woman who needs some counseling to help work you through life’s difficulties? It’s okay to be human. Sometimes, humans have struggles and we need help from professionals. It’s important to know that God sometimes works through His people. And some of His people happen to be mental health professionals.

“Christian Therapy Is Only About Prayer” — Why Faith and Psychology Work Beautifully Together

Faith is at the center of Christian therapy, but it’s not the only tool we use. In my Houston practice, I often combine prayer with approaches like Brainspotting and the Gottman Method to help clients heal emotionally and spiritually. And I’m not saying that prayer isn’t a powerful tool- it is the most powerful tool. Therapy isn’t just about having some listen to you as she nods and smiles. Therapy is about giving you practical skills to move forward from your troubles. Like how to process trauma and anxiety through brainspotting, so that thoughts about the difficult things that have happened to you in the past stop creeping up on you. Imagine being able to do things that used to be fun for you, or hang out with loved ones without a care in the world. Prayer and neuroscience can work hand in hand to help provide lasting change. Give Christian counseling in Houston a try.

“Therapists Won’t Understand My Faith” — The Truth About Working with a Christian Counselor

One of the biggest fears Christians have about therapy is feeling misunderstood — but as a Christian Therapist in Houston, I make faith an essential part of every conversation, not something you have to set aside. Because I really believe that your Christian faith is the bedrock of who you are. We cannot separate you from your identity in Christ. At least we shouldn't have to. Working with a Christian counselor means that you will be understood on a spiritual level and not judged for your beliefs. Therapy becomes a safe space where you can both express yourself emotionally, gain new coping tools to anchor you through life, and all the while providing room for spiritual reflection.

“Christian Therapy Is Just for Women” — How Couples Benefit from Faith-Based Counseling

While many women find healing through Christian therapy, couples can experience transformation too. Through Christian marriage counseling in Houston, I help partners rebuild emotional safety and strengthen their faith together. In counseling, you will learn how to support one another during times of stress. I do this specifically by using the Gottman Method, which I pair with biblical principles. Therapy can help you rebuilt trust, deepen your connection and strengthen your shared faith. You get to learn what healthy communication looks like, how to air your opinions and feelings in a kind, but assertive way, as well as what to do when the inevitable conflict shows up. You’ll also learn how to strengthen friendship, intimacy and connection.

“Therapy Takes Forever” — Why Christian Counseling in Houston Can Bring Real Change Sooner Than You Think

Many people assume Christian counseling in Houston will take years before they feel better — but with brainspotting and a faith-based approach, I’ve seen Houston clients experience real peace in far less time. Therapy does not have to drag on forever- at least that’s not my approach. We create specific and flexible goals, and once those goals have been met, you get to graduate from therapy. This is also why I love brainspotting so much. It cuts down on your time in therapy because we bypass the cit chat and guessing. You get to work on deeper layers of your brain- resulting in faster outcomes. And once we top this off with an invitation to God to take control of each session, you have success.

If you’ve been unsure about trying therapy because of what you’ve heard, now’s the time to see the truth for yourself. As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I help women and couples find healing that honors both their faith and their emotional health.
You don’t have to keep wondering what peace feels like — schedule your free consultation for counseling in Houston today and start your journey toward the calm and clarity God designed you to have.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

How Christian Counseling Helps You Navigate Anxiety and Stress

Finding Peace in the Chaos: How a Christian Therapist in Houston Helps You Calm Anxiety and Overwhelm

Anxiety can make your world feel smaller by the day — but as a Christian Therapist in Houston, I’ve seen how faith and gentle therapeutic tools can help women and couples find peace that lasts. Going to therapy is not a sign that you are weak or that your faith is lacking. Going to therapy is a sign that you have identified an area of struggle and you are willing to work through it, rather than ignore it. Remember that God sometimes uses His people to help His people. Think about Christ’s mission. He asked the disciples to go and spread the gospel through the ends of the earth, and part of their work was showing compassion and healing broken hearts too. I believe that a part of my job as a Christian therapist in Houston is to help pull people out of struggle and walk them into the light. Because life does not have to feel dark and desolate every day.

I help women and couples find calm through faith and also evidence based, research backed therapy that I spent many years learning. In addition to the faith I have in Jesus, I have also spent many years learning about culture, relationships, the brain, trauma, anxiety and many areas that have held people back. Because in this world, you will have trouble. Jesus already told you that. It’s not only important to reach out to someone who has faith in Jesus, but a professional also trained to help you navigate rough waters. Please do not struggle alone.

Inviting God into the Healing Process: Why Faith Matters in Christian Counseling for Anxiety

Faith doesn’t erase anxiety — but when we invite God into our healing process, we discover a new kind of strength that calms both mind and soul. As Christians, you are already saved by grace. But because we live in a fallen world, there is a lot to grapple with. And sometimes it look sleek wrestling with anxiety, or wrestling with communication issues within your marriage, or not knowing how to make friends as an adulthood, or the aftermath of trauma and pain from your past. Sometimes your heart feels super heavy and you want to be able to speak to someone who will not just get you, but will also be able to provide you practical tools so that you know how to fight through those difficult emotions.

As a Christian therapist in Houston, I believe in a whole person approach. This means I like to look into every domain of your life- I’ll ask about your physical health, emotional health, mental health, relational health and spiritual health. To ignore one part will be to ignore a piece of the puzzle. Now why would I do that? What I am essentially doing is nurturing both emotional and spiritual resilience. And yes, prayer and the word of God are always welcome when you work with me. If you are looking for a faith based therapy approach, Christian counseling for anxiety might just be right for you.

Brainspotting and Faith: A Gentle Path to Releasing Anxiety at Its Root

As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I often use Brainspotting to help clients find calm — not just through insight, but through deeper healing that connects both body and spirit.

Brainspotting helps uncover and heal the hidden emotional roots of anxiety. There are centers in your brain that store trauma as well as big emotions, my job is to give you access to those centers so that you can process it, digest it and no longer need to think about it over and over again. That’s brainspotting in a nutshell. It cuts down on therapy time because we don’t have to talk through what you went through. Rather you get to feel through what you went through.

In addition to brainspotting, I also integrate prayer and scripture if my client is comfortable with it. You get to use every tool you have to help you on your path to wholeness and healing. We cannot ignore your spiritual self if we want to do good therapy. Many Christians appreciate brainspotting’s gentle nature and how it helps the body release tension without reliving trauma. In a nutshell, you don’t have to give me a play by play of all the difficult experiences that happened to you in order to find healing.

For Couples Under Stress: How Christian Marriage Counseling and the Gottman Method Bring You Back Together

When stress creeps into your marriage, it doesn’t just affect your schedule — it impacts your connection. That’s why I use the Gottman Method therapy, grounded in research, to help Houston couples find their way back to each other. Stress, anxiety and miscommunication can create emotional distance in a couple. But you don’t have to throw in the towel, because a skilled marriage therapist can give you practical communication, friendship, intimacy and conflict resolution tools to finally learn how to live in unity and peace. I love to take my couples back to what first brought them together, then tie it into their biblical beliefs about marriage.

I believe that if each party within a couple plays his or her role properly, they will have a strong, healthy marriage. Things get out of hand when we start to step on each other’s toes and forget to embrace the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Through Christian marriage counseling in Houston, I specialize in helping high-performing, highly sensitive Christian couples in Houston find how to manage big emotions, communicate their needs and pour into one another.

Moving Forward with Faith: How to Begin Christian Counseling in Houston

Taking the first step toward counseling can feel intimidating — but as a Christian Therapist in Houston, I want you to know that this step is about grace, not perfection. Therapy begins with a quick 15 minute consultation call. During that call you become familiar with may voice and general demeanor. I believe you can tell a lot about a person from a simple phone interaction. Beyond that, you also get to ask my questions about my process and I learn more about how I can support you. We are essentially assessing if we are the right fit for one another.

After that, if we decide that we are the right fit, my assistant will onboard you into our secure client platform. You’ll fill all the paperwork online, getting you ready for our first virtual therapy session. The first session is an assessment of who you are- we will go through your childhood, family of origin, you school years, educational, career, emotional, physical and relational background. This gives me all the pieces I need to create a collaborative, personalized treatment plan for you.

After that we meet every week to begin to chip away at the goals we set together. We work together until we both feel like you have accomplished what you wanted therapy to do in your life.

You don’t have to keep battling anxiety or stress on your own. As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I help women and couples reconnect with peace, faith, and one another through practical, research-based, and spiritually grounded therapy. If you’re ready to heal from the inside out, schedule your free consultation call for therapy in Houston and discover how God can meet you right where you are — in your healing journey.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Christian Therapist in Houston: Blending Faith and Mental Health

Christian Therapist in Houston: Finding Healing Through Faith and Therapy

Faith based therapy is a bridge between spiritual and emotional healing. We do not have to separate your Christian values when you come to therapy, because therapy is one avenue through which you can heal your mind. And many people don’t know that your mind, will and emotions are located within your soul. There has been a growing number of Christian women who are seeking therapy that is able to honor their faith, understand their cultural background and also help maintain their mental well being. Please note that therapy does not replace your Christian faith, but it actually strengthens it. When I work with clients, prayer and Bible scriptures are welcome in the room to help guide you in your healing.

Now I am not replacing your pastor or the work of The Holy Spirit. My job is to put forth scriptures that you can study further to help in your journey of healing. I’m not necessarily explaining the scriptures to you, but we can walk through them together. I believe that all the domains of your life- physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, environmental and even career. As a Christian Therapist in Houston, I help clients find strength in both Scripture and science.

How a Christian Perspective Changes the Therapy Experience

When you work with a Christian therapist in Houston, you’re not just talking about coping skills — you’re exploring how God’s truth can bring peace to your mind and heart. Christian counseling in Houston is very unique. Sessions are rooted in your vales, prayer and biblical reflection . We can use biblical truth to guide your decision making. Part of my process is also utilizing different modalities such as brainspotting therapy, to help you break past those stuck points. The goal is always to help you break past trauma, anxiety and other difficult experiences so that you can finally live the full life that you want. We can dive into Christian principles such as what faith looks like in action, dying to self, letting The Holy Spirit do a big work in you, laying your burdens down and renting your mind daily. We can walk the talk.

Brainspotting helps you clear your mind of the clutter so that you can focus on living the full life that you now you have in Christ.

Faith-Based Tools for Anxiety, Trauma, and Marriage Healing

Whether it’s anxiety that won’t quiet down or a marriage weighed down by unspoken hurts, faith-based therapy can offer both comfort and clarity. Faith and therapy come together in the therapy room in unique ways. For example, when you have experienced trauma, you are able to connect back to people in the Bible like Job, who lost everything. You can look at how he reacted, how his friends played a role in his mental health, and finally how The Lord responded to him. Christian trauma counseling in Houston can help you find healing.

If you are dealing with anxiety, there are many biblical examples of people going through anxiety, Whether it is David who had to repeatedly run for his life, or Sarah who was worried about whether or not she would bear a child, or Peter who was questioned about his affiliation with Jesus. There are many examples you can connect with. We can talk about how you connect to the biblical figures, what you learn from their experiences, as well as how you can shift your behavior to learn from theirs. We use this alongside brainspotting to help clear your brain of the funk.

Whether it’s anxiety that won’t quiet down or a marriage weighed down by unspoken hurts, Christian therapy in Houston can offer both comfort and clarity.

Why Houston Christians Are Embracing Faith-Integrated Mental Health Support

Across Houston, more Christians are realizing that faith and therapy don’t compete — they collaborate. We can have a deep love for the Lord and still seek healing through a therapist. Therapy can become an extension of God’s healing hand in the same way that a physician can be an extension of healing when your physical body is experiencing an ailment. It is great to have a professional therapist who is a Christian, who can implement biblical values and help you heal your emotional struggles. We no longer have to look at therapy as a taboo subject. It’s okay to allow someone to help you while still utilizing your faith as aa guiding tool.

How to Choose the Right Christian Therapist in Houston for You

Finding the right Christian therapist in Houston means finding someone who honors your faith while helping you grow through life’s hardest seasons. If you have been looking for a Christian therapist in Houston, here are some ideas for you. Think about demographics such as age, gender, race, nationality, etc. Because if you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist, therapy won’t work for you. Look for someone who has experience in the issue you are struggling with (anxiety, trauma, managing high sensitivity, marriage troubles, etc). It is also important to ask about how the therapist can blend psychology with biblical values. If it is important to you that the therapist is from a specific denomination, then ask. If you have any theological leanings that need to be brought up, then bring them up too.

If you’ve been praying for peace but still feel weighed down by anxiety, trauma, or marital strain, you don’t have to walk this journey alone. As a Christian therapist in Houston, I offer a space where faith and therapy work hand in hand to restore hope and healing. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation for Christian counseling in Houston today to begin your journey toward emotional and spiritual renewal.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Perfectionism vs. Peace: How Highly Sensitive Women Can Break Free from the 'Always Perfect' Trap

Perfectionism vs. Peace: How Highly Sensitive Women Can Break Free from the 'Always Perfect' Trap

When you struggle with perfectionism, you constantly feel tense because you know exactly how you want to operate in the relationship, but you find yourself saying and doing things that are incongruent with who you actually are. You essentially operate for the other person and do everything to please the other person. This creates a lot of guilt and shame for you. Because you know what you want to do. It's like your head and your heart have a disconnect. And that leaves you feeling small, feeling bad about yourself and just generally spinning your wheels. The positive thing is that perfectionism is not hardwired into your DNA. With a somatic type of therapy like Brainspotting therapy in Houston, we can actually actively work on how to remove those perfectionistic tendencies so that you can be free to be yourself again. Brainspotting does a good job of releasing the pressure of perfectionism and just allowing you to be who you really are.

How to Set Loving Boundaries in Your Relationships (Without Feeling Guilty)

When you are not used to setting clear boundaries regularly, upon the first try (and during the next few tries) you will definitely be riddled with guilt. Because you spend so much time hoping that the other person is not mad at you. You might think that they'll stop being your friend- all because of the boundary that you set. You just go down an entire rabbit hole- all because you set a boundary. Now the problem with perfectionism, is that it makes boundary setting so difficult, especially in your personal relationships. Because perfectionists expect their relationships to also be perfect. And when someone is mad at you for setting a boundary, that defeats the purpose of perfectionism. When you falter in your boundary setting attempts, that also does not register as perfect.

Setting boundaries could even cause you some anxiety and lots of discomfort. Enter my favorite thing- Brainspotting therapy. With the help of brainspotting therapy in Houston, you can go from a woman who did everything for everyone else and put her needs on the back burner, to a woman who put her needs first, continues to be empathetic and kind, and is able to create space for herself, relationships and other people too.

You do not have to give up on being the kind person that you already are. Once we are able to identify why perfectionism and people pleasing are staples in your life, we are then able to practice how to set boundaries without the presence of guilt. I love brainspotting for this as opposed to talk therapy. Because talk therapy focuses so much on logic and chances are you're already a very logical person who likes to talk herself out of setting boundaries. With brainspotting, we will focus mostly on emotions and we connect you back to your body. When you're able to identify how emotions affect you, and also heal trauma, it is a lot easier to let go of perfectionism.

Ditch the Superwoman Cape: How to Let Go of Perfectionism and Build Stronger Connections

Do you know the sad thing about superwoman? Everyone loves how strong she is and how she rushes in to save the day. We marvel at how she's able to multitask and save an entire city without breaking a sweat. But do you know that nobody even asks how her shoulders are doing. We don't ask her if she gets enough sleep, if she's tired or if she wants a break. Nobody cares about superwoman's feelings. This is why you need to seriously ditch the cape. You are NOT superwoman. You are just a woman and that is OK. That is what your life needs to look like every single day. If you are struggling with balancing ambition with sensitivity, click here to read more.

Because superwoman is perfect. And humans cannot relate to people who are perfect. We can only relate to people who are actually human. To build stronger connections it is important to be able to ask for help. It is important to rest sometimes. It's important to let people know when things are too much for you. It's important to cry sometimes. It's important to show people that you have real emotions. It's important for you to know when to move and went to call it quits. When the people around you see that you are indeed functioning like a human, they will hopefully start to treat you like you are human. Because nobody can connect with a perfect person. But we all know what it is to be flawed and real.

Stop Perfectionism from Ruining Your Relationships: How Brainspotting Therapy Can Help

When you always show up as a perfect friend, it already creates unrealistic expectations. They expect you to never make mistakes, they expect you to always be on point, and they expect you to probably carry the entire relationship on your shoulders. This leads to frustration and strain for not just you, but for your friends as well. It is important to note that you can be a high achieving woman who is not perfect. Because high achieving simply means that you have big goals and you have achieved quite a few things in your life. This means that you work hard and you know where you are trying to go in life.

High achieving does not mean that you are perfect in the way that you implement your goals. And it does not mean that you will achieve every single goal that you have put your mind to. The great thing about brainspotting is that it helps you unlock patterns that have been driving you but no longer work for you. As a high achieving woman in Houston, you probably are an entrepreneur who does multiple businesses. But perfectionism can actually stop you from meeting your business goals. Because sometimes you do not put out content and you do not put out work because it is not perfect. With Brainspotting you will learn exactly why you became a perfectionist and then we can work together to unravel that so that you can function as simply a human- no super woman needed.

Ready to Be Perfectly Imperfect? How Brainspotting Helps You Embrace Your True Self

Imperfections actually make us human. Imperfections can be a way to connect with other people. Because other people have flaws too. So when they see that you have a similar struggle with them, they can partner with you so that you can hold each other accountable. Imperfections are actually just proof that you are human. And if you want to be treated like the human that you are, and if you want people to see you for who you are, then you have to take the bold step to be vulnerable and let people see all of you.

I'm not saying that you have to share all of your life with everyone on social media. All I'm saying is that if you want to truly connect with close friends and loved ones, you have to take off that façade of perfectionism. Because perfectionism can drive them crazy. Sometimes when you're a perfectionist, you expect so much out of your loved ones and they actually cannot give you all the perfection that you need. But when you are human and you allow them to be human too, things are less tense in the relationship. Brainspotting therapy can actually help you connect with the real you. Perhaps the real you is a high-powered, high achieving woman who also likes to be goofy. Perhaps you are a k-drama loving, highly sensitive woman who loves the stock market. Perhaps you are a woman who sometimes burns dinner, but you're also an amazing physician. You can show up as you actually are and people will accept you for who you are.

Are you ready to break free from perfectionism and start building stronger, more meaningful relationships? As a trauma therapist in Houston, I specialize in working with high-performing, highly sensitive women, including Black women, to overcome the perfectionism trap. Through brainspotting therapy, you can release past trauma, set healthier boundaries, and embrace your true self. Book a free 15-minute consultation call today and take the first step toward deeper connection and personal peace.

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

People Pleasing and HSPs: How to Stand Up for Yourself Without Conflict

Goodbye People-Pleasing, Hello Confidence: How Highly Sensitive Women Can Set Boundaries Without the Drama

If you follow me on social media, you know that I'm always talking about boundary setting. I argue that because of the limited bandwidth of some highly sensitive women, it is important to protect your energy through boundary setting. If you said “Yes” to every single thing and if you helped everybody who asked you for help, you'll never have time for yourself. You only end up in resentment and overtiredness. And when a highly sensitive person is overtired, they get cranky and their mood is just completely off. If you are constantly in the state of over tiredness, that will definitely derail your goals. Which is a no-no for highly ambitious, highly sensitive women.

One of the most important things to focus on as a highly sensitive, high performing woman is to realize that your needs matter too. When you are stuck in the people pleasing cycle, you are so focused as the needs of others and making sure that they don't get mad at you. But before you set a boundary, ask yourself, how would I handle this if I actually respected myself and believe that my values are important? If you ask yourself this question all the time then you are going to be able to see it much clearer and healthier boundaries for yourself.

So it is important to learn how to set clear, kind boundaries so that the people around you can know what you need. This does not have to be a whole dramatic event. You don't have to be mean, rude or go around upsetting everyone. However, that being said, if the people around you are not safe, they will feel offended when you're simply just setting a clear and kind boundary. Because someone gets upset about your boundaries does not mean that your boundaries are wrong. Just ask yourself, “Am I holding onto my values?” “Am I stepping on anybody's toes?” This will tell you everything you need to know.

One way I help highly sensitive women is by utilizing Brainspotting therapy in Houston as a tool to help them become more confident in setting boundaries without feeling guilt or causing too much conflict. Sometimes you know the boundary that you need to set, but you just do not have the confidence to implement it. And sometimes you really are at a loss for what boundary to set. This is where brainspotting therapy in Houston comes in. It helps us go down the rabbit hole in your brain or to figure out where the connections need to be formed. I promise you that it is important to navigate relationships without being a people pleaser.

People Pleasing 101: How to Stay True to Yourself (Even When You Hate Saying ‘No’)

Sometimes saying the word ‘No’ can feel almost physically painful because:

• You think that you are being mean by saying “No.”

• You don't want to hurt the other person's feelings

• You feel guilty because you know that you can actually help them but because you do not have the bandwidth to choose not to help them in this moment.

• You worry about what they will think and say about you.

• You worry about the potential loss of relationship. Will they stop liking you? Will they think that you're a bad person?

  All these things are running through your head because you said “No.” However, let me put it into perspective for you. If you continue to say “Yes” to every single person and every single thing, you will absolutely NOT have time for yourself. That means that you will be burning the candle on both ends which will lead to you being completely tired, resentful of yourself and others, and just raggedy. And you do not want to be raggedy, because you're too ambitious to be raggedy. As an ambitious person, you need to be refreshed and clearheaded in order to actually meet your goals. So it is important to remind yourself of why you're setting these clear, kind boundaries.

This is why I like Brainspotting therapy. Rather than spending day after day going down the rabbit hole in talk therapy, in just a few Brainspotting therapy sessions, you can easily get to the root of why it is hard for you to say “No.” You learn what the roots of your people pleasing behaviors are, we're able to approach it so that you can finally be free to set boundaries that are actually in alignment with your values.

It'll be easier to find out why people pleasing is a thing for you. Once you find out why you do what you do, it is so much easier to break the unhelpful habit and form new non-people pleasing habits.

Master the Art of Standing Up for Yourself: How HSPs Can Set Boundaries and Still Be Loved

As a highly sensitive woman, you get uncomfortable with the idea of saying “No” constantly, but a big part of boundary setting is knowing how to stand up for yourself. Because people will constantly step on your toes. Some of them are just mean spirited and actually enjoy stepping on your toes. Because you are one of the few highly sensitive people that they know- they just assume that their behavior is fine.

Instead of expecting people to come and make things right, it is important that you move up to them and start to stand up for yourself. Because it is so important to realize that people will treat you the way you let them treat you. And it is your job to teach people how to treat you. Assume that nobody knows how to treat you until you teach them. The great thing about boundary setting is that it does not have to destroy your positive relationships. Please note that I am assuming that your relationships are safe relationships. Because I have no intention of teaching you how to maintain unsafe relationships. Because we all deserve safety in our lives.

When you stay true to yourself and when you understand how you want to be treated, you can actually build stronger relationships with the people around you. When you set good boundaries, that means that you're actually allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability allows people to see past the superficial level and actually see you just as you are.

And so this is where Brainspotting therapy in Houston comes in. This therapy helps you go into the deep areas of your brain where big emotions are stored so that we can start to uncover the people pleasing habits that you have and how to get rid of them. Please note that if people genuinely love you unconditionally, they will respect your boundaries. They may not enjoy your boundaries- your boundaries might take them aback, or they might not know why you even want those boundaries, however if it is important to you, it'll become important to them too. If you’ve ever wondered how to be true to yourself as a highly sensitive woman, I also have a blog on how to balance ambition and sensitivity.

The goal is not to destroy your relationships wit boundary setting. The goal is to actually strengthen them so that you can be better respected.

Stop Saying ‘Yes’ When You Mean ‘No’: How Brainspotting Helps HSPs Overcome People Pleasing

Has this ever happened to you? You get a call from a loved one, but you were already at home sitting down comfortably and happily. The plan was for you to Netflix and chill with the boo, but here comes your best friend crying on the other end, talking about how she needs you now. In your mind, you know that this is NOT an emergency. You know she's actually being dramatic and that all she needs is a nap. However because she's crying so hard and she keeps saying that she needs you, you have to unwrap yourself from the warm blanket, look at your boo in his eyes and say to him, “Sorry, my friend needs me.”

And so you venture out into the cold, make the 30 minute drive to your friend’s house, by the time you get there, you realize that she has calmed down and she never even needed you in the first place.

Why did you say “Yes” when you actually meant “No?” Well could it be that you are a people pleaser? In your mind, people pleasing is a way to help you maintain a good relationship so that nobody will be mad at you. It is a way to help you avoid conflict, but the problem with people pleasing is that it is eating you up from the inside out. You essentially sacrificed your relationship with your husband to maintain your relationship with your friend. However, if you had simply just said “No” to your friend she would've understood because she's your friend who loves you.

You can maintain both relationships at the same time. Even though people pleasing appears to save relationships, it actually just sacrifices them. With the help of brainspotting therapy in Houston we can become a lot more assertive, especially in personal and professional relationships. You'll learn how to set boundaries your way and without all of the guilt.

Stand Up for Yourself Without Conflict: A Guide for High-Performing Women Who Hate People-Pleasing

If you are a high-performing woman who absolutely hates people pleasing, then gather here. The great thing about Brainspotting therapy in Houston, is that it goes into the deeper layers of the brain where big emotions are held. That is important because instead of going down the rabbit hole for weeks and weeks in talk therapy, in just a few Brainspotting therapy sessions we will be able to get to the root of why you became a people pleaser and how we can help you reverse that.

When you are no longer a people pleaser, you actually begin to form authentic relationships that are not based on what you can do for people, but are just simply based on who you are as a person. When you form authentic relationships, they stay your friend or your business partner because of the value that you bring to the table, not because of the boundaries that you have set with them. If you are wan ambitious highly sensitive woman who

Authentic relationships are a whole lot deeper than people pleasing relationships. If your friend is just your friend because of what you can do for them, then it means that essentially, your relationship will fizzle out fast.

And when somebody steps on your toes or upsets you, it is important to be able to stand up for yourself without conflict. Setting a boundary does not mean that you are trying to fight the other person. It is simply just a statement to help them to notice that they hurt you. And if they're a safe person, they will apologize, take notes and not do it again.

Tired of putting everyone else’s needs before your own? If you’re a highly sensitive, high-performing woman in Houston, brainspotting therapy can help you break free from people-pleasing habits and build stronger, more balanced relationships. As a trauma therapist in Houston, specializing in working with Black women, I can help you stand up for yourself with confidence. Book a free 15-minute consult session today and take the first step toward healthier boundaries and deeper connections!

About Me

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High performing women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.