Dear Superwoman: It’s Time to Take Off the Cape – How to Ask for Help Like a Pro

When you are a highly responsible or goal oriented woman, it is easy to do everything yourself. After all, you've always been successful at everything you’ve laid your hands on, so why on earth do you need to ask anybody for help?

As a therapist in Temecula, I know that asking for help is important because it is a great way to connect with your spouse. Being overly independent can quickly become a problem in a marriage if you live your life like you're an island on to yourself. Being overly independent can lead to your spouse feeling disengaged from you.

If you have ever wanted to break away from the struggle of being overly independent, here are some tips for you:

Get to the bottom of why it is difficult for you to ask for help

By the way, being independent is not a bad thing, but having a really difficult time asking for help when you really need it could really be a struggle. Behind every highly independent woman are some emotional hurts (or perhaps, an upbringing) that led her to become this way.

Here’s an exercise I have my clients go through during our counseling sessions in Temecula. Sit back and dig into your mind. Ask yourself how you became super independent. Perhaps when you were growing up, your caregivers encouraged you to be heavily independent. Or perhaps they really encouraged you to check things off lists and achieve a lot. Or maybe you just receive a lot of inner joy and affirmation when you did things yourself.

Remember that asking for help is not a bad thing

Remind yourself that inter-dependency (not independence) is healthy for a marriage relationship. Interdependence simply means that both partners are independent, but they choose to lean on each other when they need help.

They can do things by themselves and for themselves, however they choose to share the world with each other in a healthy way. So it is important to tell yourself this so that you get more comfortable with opening up to your partner.

Start with asking for help with the small things

I get it. Asking your husband for help on the huge projects could feel close to impossible. So why not just start small? Ask him to help you with simple things like picking up the dry cleaning or dropping the kids off at school or making that sandwich that you just don't want to make.

It is easier to start with the small things and then slowly graduate to much larger tasks. Each time you ask him for help, check in with yourself to see how it feels. At first it might feel oddly uncomfortable, but sit with that feeling and it will soon pass.

Have daily conversations with your spouse to invite him into your life

When you are very independent, it is easy to get sucked into your own world and completely forget that your spouse exists. So to combat this, once a week, or maybe at the end of day, have a short, connecting conversation with your spouse. This is another intervention I use when counseling in Murrieta.

Ask him how his day went, and also invite him into your own world. Talk to him about what's going on in your day, what’s going on with the kids, the new updates at work and what has been happening in your mind. That way he gets to understand your internal struggles. It’s okay for your spouse to see you as a human with real struggles and joys.

Try giving yourself a deadline before you ask for help

Because you are naturally a very independent person, you probably spend a lot of time hitting your head on a wall before reaching out for support.

So give yourself a deadline. Perhaps you can say “If I am still struggling after 1 week, I will ask for help.” Although asking for help can be a struggle, practice makes it easier.

There you have it. If you struggle with being super independent, and you want to learn how to let your husband into your internal world, schedule your free 15-minute consultation call. It is totally possible to live interdependently with your husband.

As a Black therapist in Temecula, it is my joy to help goal oriented women find deeper connection. I provide therapy to clients in Murrieta, Temecula, San Diego, Los Angeles and throughout California.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Simple tips for a successful marriage: Repair when you've messed up

Sometimes when you're speaking to your partner, you get so upset and you say the wrong thing.

Before the words come out of your mouth you instinctively know that you have hit below the belt. The great news is that no matter what you say to your partner, you can still repair your relationship with them. As a therapist in the Temecula area who provides marriage counseling, I’ve probably seen and heard it all.

Here are six simple ways to repair when you have messed up in your marriage. Please note that this post is not talking about abusive behavior or infidelity. I am simply just focusing on repairing when you have been careless with your words or gotten into an argument.

The goal of the conversation: To repair and take responsibility

Before you start talking to your spouse remember that the goal of this conversation is to repair and seek understanding, rather than defend yourself or blame your spouse. If you get defensive, it will only make things worse. So it is important that you take responsibility for the things that you have said, and then apologize.

Step 1: Share how you felt

The first step is to share how you felt. This is an important skill I teach as a therapist in the Murrieta, Temecula area.

You don't have to explain why you felt the way that you felt. It is important for your partner to understand what was going on for you internally. Use some feeling words.

You can say something as simple as "I felt defensive." Or “I felt disrespected." Or “I felt shocked.” Or you can say “I felt afraid.” This will help your partner feel a little bit more connected to you.

Step 2: Describe your point of view

Describe to your spouse what you feel happened during the incident. Do not describe what you think they did or how you think they felt. Just stick to describing your perception of the situation. It is important that you do not point the finger, attack them, or blame them.

Just state the facts of what you said or what you think you heard them say. So for example you can frame it as "I heard you say…” Don’t get stuck on the semantics of things. Just focus on your reality.

Step 3: Give your spouse space to speak

Next it's time for you to give your spouse a chance to speak their own reality. Listen to their side of the story, and do not focus on trying to correct them or blame them. When they speak, try to summarize what you're hearing them saying, and also validate their experiences. For example you can say something like "I can see how you heard that.” “I can understand why that felt offensive.”

Ensure that they feel understood before you move on. If they don't, you can ask them to give you more information to ensure that they are actually feeling understood. This is the one area where couples get stuck in my Temecula marriage counseling sessions.

Also help them understand some of your experiences that have triggered why you felt the way that you felt. For example let's say you feel disrespected because your spouse did not consult you before doing something important. You can say to them “I am sensitive to feeling ignored because it reminds me of the time that you made a big purchase without me.”

Step 4: Take responsibility for your role in the communication breakdown

I talk about this a lot when I facilitate marriage counseling in Murrieta. It's now time to take responsibility for your role in the fight. Let them know what your state of mind was before you said what you said.

For example you can say:

• “I've been feeling stressed lately.”

• “I've been taking you for granted”

• “I've been ignoring you.”

• “I've been completely exhausted lately.”

• “I've been feeling like I'm tired lately.

Specify what you regret and also apologize for what you said wrong. Be very specific.

For example “I am sorry for yelling at you.” “I'm sorry that I attacked you.” Or “I'm sorry for disrespecting you.”

Step 5: Make a plan for the future

After apologizing, tell your spouse what you need if this situation comes up again in the future.

Make a plan for what to do if the situation comes up again. Help your spouse understand the way you want to be treated, and also get a good understanding of how they want to be talked to. This prevents persistent problems from happening over and over again.

Having a successful marriage takes an immense amount of work and great communication, however every marriage can become an amazing marriage with friendship and intimacy in abundance.

If you're looking for a black marriage counselor in the Temecula, Murrieta area, and you're ready to take your marriage to a new, healthy place, click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call. Your future, healthy marriage thanks you.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

How to connect with your spouse using acts of service

Whenever couples come to me for couples counseling in my office in the Temecula, Murrieta area, I often ask them what their love languages are.

Some couples know what love languages are, and others just typically look at me with a blank stare. To give you a quick summary, a love language is the way you like to be loved, and the way that you show love. There are 5 love languages- quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch and words of affirmation.

For most couples, they often try to love their partner in the way that they personally want to be loved- not the way their spouse actually wants to be loved. And here is where a lot of the breakdown in a relationship or marriage begins.

The struggle often happens, because both partners have two completely different love languages- making it very difficult to show love appropriately.

If your partner’s love language is acts of service, it simply means that they like you to do things to serve them, and this helps them feel truly loved. For them, love is a lot more than saying "I love you" or buying them gifts- actually showing it is how you can connect to them.

Before you roll your eyes at me, here are five simple ways that you can connect with your spouse or show your love to your spouse, using acts of service.

Make them breakfast in bed

Nobody ever said love is easy. Love is a sacrifice.

One very simple way to show your spouse some love is to make them breakfast in bed. You do not have to go all out, you do not even have to cook the food yourself- you can even order in.

But surprise your spouse with a simple breakfast in bed. Now if you are a great cook, then here's where you can really show off your skills. Think about simple meals that your partner loves and make it for them.

As a therapist in Temecula, I often encourage couples to infuse some spontaneity and forethought into their marriage. Acts of service are all about forethought.

If you really want to be fancy then you can throw in the garnishes, and even make a multiple course meal. But if that's not your thing just present the meal neatly and that’s it.

Iron their shirt for them (Or do something they hate)

If you have a spouse who wears shirts that get rumpled easily, surprise them and iron a shirt for them, or maybe even get a part of their outfit ready for them. Or you can pick up their dry-cleaning. Yes, I know that he can dress himself up or she can dress herself up, however this is all about going above and beyond so that they know that you love them.

For example if your spouse irons their shirt every morning, and you see that they have laid a shirt out the night before, you can go the extra mile to iron the shirt for them. It’ll surprise them and also communicate that you care. Stepping in the gap is my biggest marriage counseling tip.

Pay close attention and fill a need they have

When you're having a casual conversation with your spouse, and she mentions that she needs to get something from the store, you can actually offer to do it for them. It doesn't even have to be a big deal. Maybe they are out of their favorite crackers.

You can say to them: “Never mind I'll get it for you.” Or on your way back from work that day you can swing over to the store and get it for them. This might take an extra 10 minutes of time or maybe even take you no extra time at all because you plan to be at the store yourself. This will communicate to your spouse that you're listening to them and you care for them.

Fix something around the house or hire someone to fix it for you

If you happen to have some pretty handy skills, and you notice that something in the house is broken, an act of service could be fixing it before your spouse gets to it. Or both of you can fix it together.

This way you're spending quality time and also giving an act of service. If you happen to not be handy at all, and you know that your spouse will probably never get around to fixing it, rather than complaining, why not just hire someone? Boom! Acts of service.

Step in unexpectedly to give them a break

Let's say your spouse often drops the kids off at school on Mondays, but you know that they're having a particularly difficult Monday, and you have some room in your schedule to do it, just let them know that you can do it.

You can say something like “Don't worry. I'll take the kids to school so that you can prep for your meeting.”

Acts of service could be difficult to implement because they involve time and effort, but you don't have to necessarily do huge acts of service every single day. As long as you're paying attention, you can just step in in little areas where they are tired or they are lacking. It is about anticipating your spouse’s needs and communicating with them.

If your marriage has been riding the struggle bus, and you have wondered if Temecula marriage counseling will help you, click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call. You do not have to wait until your marriage is in complete breakdown to go to marriage counseling. Marriage counseling can help you restore the friendship and intimacy in your marriage.

I also provide Christian counseling in the Temecula, Murrieta area for couples who want to keep Jesus at the center of their marriage.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Dear Superwoman: Let Your Husband In—He’s Your Partner, Not Your Project

One of my missions as a licensed marriage and family therapists is to help the women I work with, learn how to get rid of superwoman syndrome.

“What’s that?” you ask.

Well, Superwoman syndrome (it’s not an actual diagnosable syndrome BTW) is the idea that you are so capable, responsible and independent that you struggle to ask anyone around you for help. While that might sound like a great thing, it could leave you overburdened, burned out and resentful. The people around you get so used to you taking care of everything by yourself that they stop asking you if you need help.

Because no one checks up on you, you begin to resent the people around you, you feel lonely and things don’t look good. You get it?

Superwoman syndrome can be a big problem in a marriage. Because you find yourself carrying majority of the emotional load, while your spouse appears to live his best life. The trouble is your spouse might not have any idea that you’re actually resentful of him or struggling in any way.

You see, couples often get used to a specific dance. In this case the dance looks like you being super independent and capable, carrying majority of the emotional and/or domestic load, while your spouse gets to luxuriate (also probably not a real word).

How do you fix this persistent problem?

1) Check in with yourself to find out what you need

When you’re so used to playing the superwoman role, you might expect everyone to jump in to help you because it’s ‘Common sense’ or because you are used to jumping in without being told. Well, there’s no such thing as common sense and a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.

So ask yourself what areas you’re actually willing to delegate. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself resisting this step. Because you are so used to doing things by yourself, you might not know how to check in with yourself. It’s a practice. Set aside 5 minutes a day to sit in a quite place and ask yourself what you need. Mentally comb through some of the activities of the day and ask yourself what or who could make your life easier. Write it down.

2) Have a sit down talk with your husband

Now that you know what you need, it’s time to let your husband know what you need. And even if you’ve been married for 15 years, he still isn’t a mind reader and he has no clue what your emotional needs are. So, use this simple template:

I need [————-] from you because [————]. Then go into specifics.

It could be something as simple as I need more support from you because I am feeling tired and burned out. Then proceed to further define what support is. What he thinks is supportive isn’t what you might think is supportive.

3) Avoid the blame game

When you have this conversation with your husband, please avoid name calling, finger pointing attacking him or blaming him. This will only lead to an argument which will distract both of you from the initial goal, which was to help both of you feel more connected and to free you from superwoman syndrome.

4) Talk about your feelings

I am a huge fan of feeling words because they help others truly understand what is going on in your internal world. It is the closest thing to real time mind reading. When people who love you truly understand the feelings that are underneath your request, it helps to seal the deal.

Help your husband understand what burn out feels like. Helps him udnersstnd that you feel isolated because you’re spending so much time helping others. Help him understand how sad it is for you to constantly check in on others while everyone assumes you’re doing well. If you’re not sure how you feel, use this feelings wheel to help you pick the appropriate words.

A simple way to communicate your feelings is by using the formula below:

I feel [—-] about [—-] and here is what I need [—-]

For example, “I feel sad about not being checked on. I need you to send me a daily text to see how my work day is going.”

OR

“I feel overwhelmed picking the kids up from school every day. I need you to alternate school pick ups with me so I can get a break.”

Remember that your husband is your ally. He wants to support you, but he can’t do that if he has no clue what type of support you need.

If you are ready to learn how to genuinely communicate your emotional needs with your spouse so that you can stop having the same arguments each month, click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call with me for couples therapy in Houston.

Marriage Counseling Tips: How to communicate almost anything in your marriage

Marriage is such a beautiful thing- two people in love coming together to make a life together. But what happens after a few years when the butterflies fade? Sometimes you look at your spouse and wonder why you can’t just get along. You wonder why you married him, and you suddenly realize that you do not know how to communicate with your spouse.

One of the biggest struggles I see when I work with couples in marriage counseling in Temecula, is that they do not know how to talk to one another in a way that the other person can easily understand and accept.

But never fear, communication in marriage is a skill that anyone can learn.

Here is how to easily communicate almost anything in your marriage.

Prepare for the Conversation

Know what outcome you’re looking for before you communicate.

The outcome of the communication determines what your goal actually say. Is your purpose to clarify something that seems unclear? Is your purpose to apologize for a wrong you’ve done? (Yes, apologies should happen often in marriage). Is your purpose to seek understanding and improve friendship? Or is your purpose to problem solve and brainstorm a situation?

Pick 1 issue at a time. Your marriage can’t take nit picking.

In marriage counseling, typically couples talk about too many issues at once. This often leads to a feeling of overwhelm, anxiety, or just frustration. When you talk about too many issues at once, it is almost impossible to fix them all in one sitting.

To fix this, focus on one issue at the time, and make sure you keep the main thing the main thing. So for example, if the purpose of the conversation is to brainstorm how you're going to spend your summer, focus on summer plans alone.

This is not the time to talk about the kids going back to school, previous marital struggles or your career.

Pick one issue, talk through the issue, and only move on to another issue if both of you have the emotional bandwidth to have another discussion.

Pick an appropriate time or set an appointment

Now I know that the idea of setting an appointment with your spouse in a marriage is not sexy at all. But clear communication is very sex-it helps your spouse have clarity when you are speaking.

If you know that you're ready to discuss something heavy or something important, let your spouse know that you have something important to talk about, and ask them what their schedule looks like over the next week. After you do that, pick an appropriate time that would be free from distractions. There's no bigger frustration than trying to talk to your husband when he is watching a UFC fight. He will have one eye on the fight, and one eye on you, creating a feeling of irritation on your part. So set an appointment.

Time to talk. How to talk and what to say.

Step 1: “I statements” never fail

Another mistake that most couples make when I see them in marriage counseling, is that they keep the conversation focused on their spouse. I hear them say “You never do …”, “You always do…” They keep the conversation focused on “You, you, you.”

When your spouse hears the word ‘you,’ they immediately feel attacked. And when someone feels attacked their fight or flight reaction kicks in. So most people either shut down during the conversation, or will feel the need to defend themselves and start a fight.

But what do you want is for your spouse to be open, put their walls down, open their ears, so that they can truly understand what you are communicating.

To provide such a positive environment it is important to use I statements. So try starting with, I feel like [insert].

Step 2: Have the listener reflect back what the speaker is saying

When your spouse is communicating something important to you, focus on truly understanding what they are saying.

Stay quiet so that you can capture everything that they are saying. Resist the urge to correct them, to argue with them, or to be defensive. After every sentence, or every other sentence, repeat back what you hear them saying to you.

This gives them the chance to also hear what they are saying to you. It is important that you reflect back, so that your spouse can correct you if you have heard their statement incorrectly. Once you reflect their statement, and your partner has agreed that what you have reflected back is indeed accurate, then your spouse continue to talk.

Keep reflecting his statements, until he is done addressing that one issue.

Step 3: Validate your spouse

This is a step that most couples skip. When your husband or wife says something important to you, take time to listen, reflect, then validate their feelings. Validation is something as simple as "I can't understand why you feel that way." Or “I can see why you would be upset.”

Watch your tone here, so that you don't come across as sarcastic or disrespectful. Also watch those facial expressions. Remember the idea here is to come to a place of understanding, NOT fight each other.

Step 4: The listener can now speak

Once the person speaking is done, and the listener has reflected back what he or she has heard, it is now time for the listener to have their turn speaking.

And the same rules apply.

When the listener becomes the speaker, the other spouse must stay quiet, and then reflect back what they think they are hearing. If the person speaking has a correction to make, then he or she can then correct the person that was speaking.

It is important that we slow down our communication, to prevent anything we say from being misconstrued, when your partner does misconstrue your statements, it is OK to have them pause so that you can correct them.

Step 5: Seal it with a kiss (Or a hug or a hand hold or whatever form of affection you like)

And to seal everything off when you're done addressing that one issue, feel free to hold your partner’s hand, give them a kiss, a hug and apologize or just repair what was broken a few minutes ago.

Remember that good communication in marriage is possible for everyone, however it does take a whole lot of practice. But the more you practice, the better you get at these communication skills.

If you feel like you and your spouse are having a difficult time in your marriage, you don't see eye to eye, and you feel like your friendship is dwindling, click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation, to see if marriage counseling in Temecula is right for you.

I also provide Christian marriage counseling in the Murrieta, Temecula area.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

How to connect with your spouse with physical touch

Here is a simple way to connect with your spouse if their love language is physical touch.

Now, before you roll your eyes at me or exit this page, let me just say that physical touch has absolutely NOTHING to do with sex.

If your love language isn’t physical touch, you might find It hard to connect in your marriage in that way. But I’m going to simplify it for you so that your marriage can be enriched and your spouse can feel all the more connected to you. Trust me, these are skills that couples in my therapy practice use all the time.

I find during my marriage counseling sessions that the number 1 issue that spouses face is trying to love their husband or wife using their own love language, rather than speaking their spouse’s specific language.

A quick note: Everyone has a love language. And physical touch can be anyone’s love language- even kids, teens, elderly parents and of course, spouses too.

Let’s get into it.

Invite more hugging into your marriage

A great way to connect using physical touch is through hugs. Many married couples do not hug enough. When I say ‘hug,’ I mean a warm embrace- not the awkward side church hug. You know the type- you use your hands to awkwardly touch the other person's shoulders and try hard to not have any other body parts connect.

When last did you actually hold on to your spouse? When your love language is physical touch, it means that you connect with others using your body. It’s not creepy or weird. It’s natural and human.

Before you leave the house, give your spouse a nice embrace. At night time or bed time, give your spouse a hug. When there’s a celebration, give your spouse a nice, warm hug. Actually wrap your hands around them and let them wrap their arms around you. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time.

A hug does not have to last 10 minutes. You can hold them for as little as 5 to 10 seconds, but doing this small gesture frequently, will really boost the connection in your marriage.

Married Couples should hold hands more often

This is another one I really like. When you’re taking a walk, getting the mail down the street or going to a restaurant, use that as an opportunity to hold hands with your spouse. Even if you’re sitting on the couch together and watching TV, reach your hand across, find theirs and hold it. When you go to church, a concert or engaging in another activity, just hold your spouse’s hand. If they’re having a difficult time, or expressing a big emotion, reach out to them and hold their hand.

That sends the message that you care and you see them. It also increases the connection in your marriage. Greater connection equals greater intimacy and friendship. See how it all ties together?

Sitting together with connected bodies

When you’re sitting on the couch together, ensure that some part of your bodies are touching. You could put your arm around their shoulder, place a hand on their lap or even touch knees. Any type of physical connection is what they need to stay in tune with you. See how easy that is? Small gestures go a long way.

If physical touch isn’t your love language, it might be daunting at first, but you’re not being asked to cuddle for 30 minutes a day or have sex daily. When you add all the little physical gestures, you might spend a total of 5 to 10 minutes a day speaking your spouses love language. It really doesn't take that long. And as you practice more often, it’ll get easier.

Cuddling increases intimacy in couples

Speaking of cuddling, this is also a great way to connect using physical touch. You don’t have to wait until nighttime to cuddle. A cuddle is just an extended hug or embrace so that your spouse feels seen, heard and connected.

If you’re thinking, “This is really hard,” tell yourself “This isn’t hard. It feels different, but it’s a way to deepen connection in my marriage.” Your spouse hopefully connects with you using your love language, so this is your way of showing them that you care.

Butt tap

This one is all about play, because I’m all for married couples being playful with each other- not every time so serious.

When your spouse is walking in front of you, you could reach out and tap them on the butt. It’s all in good fun. However, if they do not like it, then do not do it. Same thing with hand holding or any of the other physical touch gestures. Only touch your spouse in a way that creates comfort and safety- which is why communication is important in your marriage. Respect and consent are a great part of marriage or coupledom.

A light touch creates joy

A light touch when you’re speaking is also an underutilized form of physical connection in marriage. Sometimes when you’re in mid sentence, you can touch them lightly on the shoulder, on their lap or even on the arm. They need to feel you to feel connected.

Massages

Massages do not have to be sexual- although they could be if you both want to, but if that feels like too much pressure, then a massage can just be used as a tool for relaxation and connection. Do whatever types of massage that you both feel comfortable with. It can be a shoulder massage, back massage, head massage, foot massage- whatever works well for you.

As you’re giving a massage, you can ask them “Do you like this to be harder Orr softer?” “Do you like the smell of the body oil?”

There is no pressure or expectation for anything. Just focus on connecting. Period. Pick what works for you. If you absolutely hate touching feet, don’t give a foot massage. Focus on the areas you’re more comfortable with.

Note that you do not have to do all of the above suggestions. Just figure out what is comfortable for you. If you don’t like hugs or massages, focus on hand holding and sitting together. If you don’t like butt taps, but massages are fine, then focus on that. Just pick one or two of these tips and do them regularly.

If you are ready to take your relationship or marriage from stale and disconnected to feeling intimate and understood, click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call to learn more about marriage counseling. I work with couples throughout California.

About the Author

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California. I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia.

I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Highly sensitive people

High achieving women

People with insomnia

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.