Is your family toxic?

Our behavior and the way we show up in the world, is a result of both nature and nurture. Some of us were born with a certain temperament, and then our environment also shaped us further into who we are.

But some people grew up with family members that didn’t quite pour into them the way that they should.

When we think of family, many of us think of kindness, warmth and validation, but for others, family relationships are quite complicated.

I call the latter, “Toxic Families.” I am aware that the word ‘toxic’ does sound incredibly harsh, but I define toxicity as a pattern of behavior that feels emotionally damaging. I don’t use the word ‘toxic’ for run of the mill family arguments or simple disagreements. The word is reserved for an ongoing damaging pattern of behavior within families.

Please note that going around and calling people toxic will probably lead to lots of arguments and animosity. I simply use the word as a framework to help you understand the effects that these people could have on you.

With that being said, here are some signs that your family might be toxic.

Unnecessary competition

Families should ideally support one another, but in a toxic dynamic, family members compete with one another all the time. There is this idea that there isn’t enough room for everyone, so members must claw their way to the top. Because of this unnecessary competition, family members often put one another down, and the focus sometimes is on achievements, rather than the value of the person.

Invalidation

In a functional dynamic, family members allow one another to have and feel all of their emotions. But in a toxic environment, family members appear to pick and choose which emotions they think are okay.

In some families, happiness is the only emotion allowed. In others, expressing anger is okay, but sadness is frowned upon. If sadness is frowned upon, then family members learn how to stuff their emotions down and pretend like they don’t feel sad. Other times, their sadness will be expressed through anger.

When a brave family member begins to discuss his or her deepest fears, worries and sadness, often times, family members will respond with “Is that why you’re crying?” or “That’s not a good reason to cry.” or “Don’t be weak.” All this does is it shuts the doors to genuine human closeness.

Playing favorites

Because of the competitive nature of toxic families, there is usually only room for 1 golden child. Children learn from a young age that 1 sibling is the favorite and that they should either compete, or learn to accept being second class citizens. This often leads to jealousy and hurt among siblings. Sometimes parents will actually tell everyone that they have a favorite child. As the kids grow up, the favorite child still remains the favorite, while the other siblings harbor silent resentment or bitterness.

Lots of criticism and arguing

Family members typically enjoy criticizing one another because of the competition and lack of emotional depth between them. If you are not allowed to display deep emotions, your only choice becomes keeping things superficial. And superficial conversations typically revolve around things like money, clothing, the weather, TV shows and one’s looks. Because competition is so strong in these families, criticism becomes a way of life. They have to criticize one another so that 1 of them can successfully claw his/her way to the top.

Arguing also becomes a way of life because family members have never been taught how to listen and validate one another. When you can’t validate the experiences of others, you tend to argue in a bid to break them down or get them to think like you.

Secrets

Secrets tend to run rampant in these families.  Because they are not allowed to really be vulnerable with one another, things are hidden. The problem with this is that if something really bad (like abuse) happens, it’ll get swept under the rug. The issue with secrets is that they simply perpetuate the problem. The best way to break these cycles is to discuss them and work through them. In many toxic situations, when someone discusses a difficult topic, the other family members either invalidate them or bully them into silence.

People pleasing

Because everyone wants to be the golden child, family members often try to people please. There's little room for independent thoughts and group think is the norm. If you don’t think or agree with the others, you can be criticized or sometimes, even ostracized. And since no one wants to suffer these consequences, it’s a lot easier to just conform.

These are some of the dynamics that occur in toxic families. The great thing is you do not have to perpetuate the same patterns you were raised in. Once you have an awareness about toxicity, make it a point to do things differently.

• Validate people’s emotions.

• Create a loving environment for your family.

• Treat people equally.

• Work through some of the issues in therapy.

If you realize that you have been raised in a toxic family dynamic, and you are ready to finally let go of people pleasing, anxiety and find your voice, click here to schedule a free 15 minute consultation call. I’m a Black counselor in California who offers online therapy in California for women and couples.

You can break the cycle.

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Tips to Manage fear and anxiety during COVID-19

This year has definitely been a strange one. We started it celebrating the start of a new decade. I’m sure you had lots of hopes and dreams, vacation plans and all sorts of great goals. But then COVID-19 swooped in and attempted to take over our entire lives. We are currently in month 2 of social distancing. While that could sound bleak, it’s important to note that there is a lot of hope.

 For many, there has been quite a lot of anxiety and fear. After all, we aren’t used to staying away from our loved ones, wearing face masks and being in the middle of a global pandemic. If you are currently experiencing fear or anxiety, here are some tips to help you manage it.

Limit exposure to news and social media

The news is all around us, letting us know death counts, infection rates and giving us a minute by minute update. For some people, that information is helpful. But if you are already experiencing anxiety, a minute by minute update might not be what you need.

To help with this, watch the news in small doses. You don’t have to be glued to the TV 24/7. Just watch enough to be informed. Some people skip the news altogether. Do what works for you. But if you want to watch TV while skipping the news, you can watch a comedy show, a game show, an educational piece or even a cartoon. There are quite a lot of options out there.

Focus on what you can control

Social distancing is difficult. Let’s face it. We are not used to putting up such strong barriers to protect others from us or vice versa. Life used to be easy. We could just get into our cars and drive wherever we wanted, without even thinking about it. But lately we have to keep a physical distance from others and disinfect everything. While you might not have the answers to curing COVID-19, there is a lot you can control.

• You can control how often and how well you wash your hands.

• How you social distance.

• Your home environment.

• The memories you make within your home.

• How you react to this situation.

• The way you think about this situation.

• How you stay in contact with your loved ones (we might be physically distanced, but we can remain emotionally connected)

Take it day by day

When you struggle with anxiety, there is often a need to control the future. You worry about what the future holds and how you can prevent bad things from happening. Although you might not have the answers to COVID-19, take it one day at a time and focus on other things.

When you wake up in the morning, aim to make the best out of your day. Focus on getting through each day. And if getting through each day feels too long, focus on taking it minute by minute. Take care of your physical needs by scheduling sleep, adhering to a bedtime and wake up time and surround yourself with things you love. You can channel your energy into maintaining your space, work, crafts, connecting with loved ones and diving into your artistic side.

Protect your Kids

If you are a parent of young kids, it’s important to be mindful of what you say and watch around them. Kids don’t quite understand what they see and hear on TV. Watching death counts can be quite alarming to some kids. Ensure that you mix up your conversation. Although we might be in a pandemic, there are other topics to talk about. 

Engage with your kids like you used to before COVID-19. You can play with them, go on walks, have them help you around the house, and just be the loving parent that you are. Ensure that there is some semblance of structure to help them feel safe and secure. Kids will not remember all the fine details regarding the pandemic, but they’ll remember how they felt when they were in lockdown with you. 

Take care of yourself using positive coping

I always teach my clients the importance of having multiple coping skills in your tool box. Some coping skills that could help you manage anxiety during COVID-19 are deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness exercises, prayer, positive affirmations, deep breathing and body scans. And if you like apps, Calm is my very favorite. You can use it to guide you with some of these skills. Here are some additional amazing tips about healthy habits you can practice without even leaving your home.

Maintain close bonds with your loved ones

I’m so glad that we are living in a technology age. Can you imagine if we were social distancing without phones or the internet? Although you might not be able to see some of your loved ones, you can call, text and video chat. Use your imagination and make it fun. 

• You can watch movies together

• Have a game night

• Tea time

• Family cooking competition

• Bible study

• Prayer night

• Virtual workout sessions

Use your imagination and have fun with it!

There you have it. Some simple ways to manage your anxiety and fear during the pandemic. And if you are a woman who is struggling with anxiety or insomnia, I’m currently seeing clients from all over California virtually. Call me on 951-905-3181 to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call so you can make anxiety and fear a thing of the past. You can also email me here.

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What is online therapy really like?

Technology can be a beautiful thing. Especially while the pandemic was in full swing. Can you imagine how horrific our lives would be if we couldn’t FaceTime our loved ones or hear their voices over the phone?

Or if the kids had to be completely out of school due to a lack of technology? But teachers everywhere were able to breathe a sigh of relief because Zoom and Google Meet kept them connected to their students.

And I am certainly happy to be a therapist in this day and age. Because it means that my clients can still continue to work on their anxiety and insomnia.

Did you know that many therapists provide online counseling? Actually I can legally provide online therapy to clients throughout California. So that way, I can keep helping you reduce anxiety, finally get rid of insomnia and work through your marital problems in marriage counseling- without leaving the comfort of your home.

Before we talk about whaat online therapy is like, let’s first talk about what you need before starting online counseling.

Tools you need to begin online therapy counseling in California.

First of all, let’s talk about what you need in order to be ready for online therapy.

1) A quiet location: I highly suggest that you are alone and distraction free when you meet with your therapist online. Shut down other devices, put head phones on if you need to and utilize this time as you normally would if you were at your therapist’s office.

2) A strong internet connection: Online therapy works best if you have a strong internet connection. That way you can see and hear your therapist clearly, and your session isn’t interrupted.

3) A device that can connect to the internet: This goes without saying. You’ll need a phone, tablet, laptop or desktop that is connected to the internet.

4) Something to prop up your device: If you’re using a tablet or a phone, I highly suggest that you prop up your device to keep it still. This will save your arm during your session and also keep the video still so that your therapist doesn’t have to stare at shaky video for almost an hour.

What is online therapy like?

Online therapy is quite similar to in person therapy. The major difference is that you are not able to come into my counseling office in Murrieta. It feels similar to a Skype or FaceTime call. You can see and hear me through your computer or phone. And I can also see and hear you.

However, I do not use Skype or FaceTime. I prefer to use Doxy.me, which is a secure online platform created specifically for health providers.

Your online security and confidentiality are important to me.

The process I use for online therapy is also very easy. You can connect with me in 3 simple steps:

1) Step 1: You type or click my confidential Doxy link. I use the same link every time.

2) Step 2: Enter your name so that I know it’s you.

3) Step 3: Wait until I add you and we begin our session.

It’s truly that easy.

During our online therapy session you can talk like you normally would, I sound the same as I always do. I use the same tools and skills that I do in person.

Some people think that online therapy is a watered down version of in person therapy. But that’s not true. You gain just as much from online therapy as you would if you saw me in person.

The only difference is that you don’t get to soak in the ambience of my Murrieta counseling office. I sometimes tell clients to get a glass of water, put on sounds of nature and also diffuse their favorite oils during an online session. This way your therapy hour becomes a wholistic experience.

Some times people ask if online therapy is just as effective as in person therapy. I certainly think so, as I use the same skills and knowledge online and I would in person. let’s put it like this. With online therapy, you don’t have to get all dressed up if you don’t want to, you can work on yourself from the comfort of your home or office. No need to navigate through traffic or spend extra time getting ready.

Some people absolutely love the convenience of online sessions, while others prefer in person sessions. I typically use my professional judgement to only see clients whom I believe online sessions will benefit. If I don’t think you’ll be a great candidate for online therapy or counseling, then I will definitely let you know.

If you are ready to finally get rid of anxiety, insomnia or regain the friendship you once had in your marriage through marriage counseling or couples therapy, click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call.

I am a Black therapist in Murrieta, CA who helps women of color and couples break generational cycles and find friendship again.

Blog updated October 3, 2022.

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How your therapist is really feeling

Today’s blog post is going to be a bit different. We are living in pretty strange times. None of us has ever been through a pandemic. None of us has ever had to distance ourselves from our loved ones. None of us has had to walk around with face masks and hand sanitizer.

We’ve never done this before.

And so I want to have a heart to heart with you. I want to take off my therapist hat for a moment and put on my human hat. My citizen hat.

As a therapist, it is my job to hold space for my clients. I go into the dark spaces, they tell me things they’ve never told anyone, we create amazing transformation! I always have my clients’ best interests at the forefront of my mind. From my website, to the way my phone is answered, to my emails, to my gorgeous mental health spa (my office), I pride myself in giving my clients a top notch experience. Everything has been curated especially for my clients.

Everything I do is to ensure that my clients have a beautiful, one of a kind experience. Working with me is a whole mood in itself.

I don’t provide cookie cutter service at all, because I know each individual I work with is unique. For some people, I provide Christian counseling- we integrate scripture and faith into the details of the work we do.

Yes, prayer and Jesus are allowed in my therapy office.

For others, I utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBTI), or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I use my expertise to help you knock anxiety down, finally say goodbye to insomnia or help repair your marriage.

And my loud, loud laughter often echoes through the office while we are in session. My clients know exactly what I mean.

But in this season, things have changed.

Things look different. My mental health spa office is no longer open for clients to sit in. I’ve had lots of people tell me how much they miss my soft blue microfiber couch, my assorted teas, my sound machine and the smell of lemongrass.

Oh, the smell of lemongrass.

Lean in, let me tell you a secret. I miss those things too.

I’m now solely seeing clients online. Although I’ve always offered online counseling services for people throughout Calfornia, this is the first time that I’ve had to practice 100 percent online.

It’s challenging. For you AND for me.

But you know what remains the same? Our resiliency. Your resiliency. Over the years I’ve worked with some amazing people and I’ve seen how truly strong the human spirit can be.

I’ve seen people rise from the impossible. I’ve seen chronic insomniacs finally sleep well after 10 years of angst. I’ve seen people who were in the pit of anxiety, finally take control of their own lives, ditch people pleasing, walk a little bit taller and use their big girl voices again!

I’ve seen couples who practically hate each other, finally hold hands again, giggle like high school kids and fight for their love after going through couples counseling.

I’ve seen people heal from trauma, after putting in so much work while sitting on my soft blue microfiber therapy couch.

But something remains the same.

• I still have my therapist’s heart. I am still committed to helping my clients fight anxiety and insomnia.

• I am still committed to making therapy feel like an entire mood (my clients know what that means).

• I still have my unusually loud, echoey laugh.

• I still provide individualized counseling or therapy services for people in the Temecula/Murrieta area. Actually I’ve always provided online therapy for women throughout California.

• I am still here to walk into the dark, scary spaces and help you reach the light.

• I am still here to pray with you when you want that.

• I am still here with all my knowledge, expertise and experience.

• I can still give you homework, make you think deeper than ever and push you so that you can flex those emotional muscles.

• I am still here to provide you with what you need. Although this pandemic has created some unique circumstances, technology allows me to continue to provide therapy services using a secure platform.

If you are a woman in California, struggling with anxiety or insomnia, don’t wait until things seem normal to reach out. Reach out now. Your future self will thank you.

I am a Black therapist in Murrieta, CA who is committed to helping women of color, find generational healing and finally feel comfortable using their voice. Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call.

I also provide online counseling in California to all California residents.

Ready to ditch anxiety and fear?

Click image to download the FREE e-book

An introvert's COVID-19 survival tips for extroverts

Social distancing is a new concept for most people. But if you are an introvert, chances are you have probably been practicing a watered down version of social distancing for most of your life.

Social distancing can be exceptionally problematic for extroverts. You crave in person connections with others. You love outdoor activities that involve face to face time with friends. Maybe you’re even a hugger who thrives off of physical connections with people. Perhaps you miss some of your hobbies and you just want things to go back to normal.

You’re going stir crazy and you don’t know what to do.

Never fear. Here are some tips for surviving social distancing from a self proclaimed ‘Introvert’s introvert.’

1) Adjust your mindset

Your outcome is really dependent on the way you view this situation. Don’t look at COVID-19 and social distancing as the end of fun. Rather, use it as an opportunity to reinvent yourself, connect with people around you (virtually), enjoy nature and to take a small step back.

Because you don’t have the luxury of seeing people in person, doesn't mean that you are completely disconnected from the world. So get creative.

You can schedule daily zoom or Google hangouts with friends. You can pick up the phone and call loved ones. Being faraway does not cut you off from others.

2) Get a workout in

Being home for the majority of the day is a great opportunity for you to get in shape. Even though you might not be able to go to the gym like you’re used to, many gyms are actually offering online group classes. Check in with your local gym to see if they are doing so.

If your gym doesn't have that service, you can actually start a virtual exercise group of your own. Just gather a few of your buddies online, and workout to the same routine. Youtube has thousands of workout videos ranging from dance, yoga, stretch, pilates to strength training.

If Youtube isn’t your thing, maybe you can find a routine that works for you and encourage your friends to workout alongside you virtually.

You get to enjoy time with your friends while sweating the stress away.

Plus your body produces endorphins (happy hormones) when you work out. It’s a win win.

3) Don’t forget to check in with your friends

Introverts are known for having deep, personal discussions with their small groups of friends. Here is your opportunity to truly be there for your loved ones. Social distancing is not the same thing as being a social recluse. Luckily for you, you have technology at your disposal and you can use it to your advantage. Because lots of people are working from home, some of your friends will be bored and more than happy to take your call.

Bored people typically enjoy being checked up on.

Now is the time to call friends that you have lost touch with or friends you wouldn't normally check in with. Embrace you inner introvert and really connect beneath the surface. Now you get to practice this skill.

At first it might seem awkward to talk about such important things, but you’ll really get to connect with others at a deep level.

You still have FaceTime and video chat platforms. That way you get to see their faces as you engage with them.

4) Take a nap if you can

Well this isn’t just for extroverts. Napping isn’t particularly an introverted trait. It just feels nice for all humans. Everyone can benefit from nap time. Naps not only rejuvenate you, but they also help pass the time away.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed in the middle of the day, set a 30 minute timer and lay down. If you have kids, you can institute family nap time. At first your kids will think you’re weird, but they might eventually get into it.

You will wake up feeling so refreshed and ready to complete your tasks.

5) Explore a new hobby

Many introverts engage in activities that keep them occupied all day. Think back to when you were a child. What did you enjoy doing? Now is the time to explore your rich inner world. Do you like to read? Do you like to draw, color, paint, knit, crochet, sing or dance?

If you like math, there are so many brain games out there to keep your mind focused. If you’ve always dreamed of writing a short story, here is your chance. Because your world might have slowed down a bit, it opens up the creative part of your brain.

Maybe you can even start virtual book club or a virtual Bible study with friends. Social distancing doesn’t necessarily mean boredom and gloom.

And here’s my personal favorite. Try downloading the calm app and practice mindfulness skills. It’ll really help you with some of the anxiety and angst you feel.

Here is your challenge. Write out 5 enjoyable activities and commit to participating in 1 or 2 a week. You will discover that there is so much fun to be had.

6) Spend intentional time with your family

Many introverts are very intentional about their relationships with their loved ones. While introverts tend to keep their friend circle small, they go really deep. Because they spend a lot of time noticing their environment, they tend to notice things about their loved ones that extroverts might miss.

Carve time each day to really connect with the people you live with. Ask them how social distancing is going for them. Talk about non corona related things. Talk about their hopes and dreams, talk about your relationship with them and how you can really deepen it.

Ask them how you both can support one another during this pandemic. When you turn toward each other, life feels so much better.

If you have a spouse, do regular relationship check ins in which you both discuss what has been going great and things you’d like to tweak within the home.

If you have kids, also have a daily check in with them to ensure that things are going well.

Embrace your inner child. Play board games, video games, engage in imaginary play and really bond with your kids. I bet you both will enjoy it. You will never get this time back.

7) Get out of the house (if you can)

Social distancing does not mean that you have to be cooped up at home 24/7. You can sit in your front yard or backyard and take in the sights and sounds of nature. One of my favorite mindfulness activities is using my 5 senses to enjoy nature.

You can sit outside and take in the smell around you, the feeling of the breeze on your skin, the sight of the leaves swaying in the wind, the fluttering of birds as they enjoy their day, the beautiful colors of the sky, trees and everything around you.

Take a moment to truly enjoy the beauty that is all around you.

You can take a walk around the block or find a new hiking trail. Your body and your mind will thank you for this.

If you find that you are struggling with anxiety, insomnia or your marriage feels challenged due to COVID-19, I provide online therapy services to individuals throughout California. Click here to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call so that anxiety can be a thing of the past.

Ready to ditch anxiety and fear?

Click image to download the FREE e-book

Parenting during coronavirus: How to stay sane with your kids amidst social distancing

Parenting during the coronavirus pandemic is exceptionally challenging. You don’t have the luxury of dropping your kids off at school, dropping them off at daycare, having the nanny come over, going to the public park or library, going out to eat, or having amazing playdates.

Now the pressure is on you to keep them entertained and occupied all day long.

If this is your plight, don’t fret. I’ve got you. Here are some simple ways to survive being cooped up with your kids all day.

1) Create a simple schedule

One thing that many parents do to make this transition easier, is to have a simple schedule. You do not have to map out every minute of every day, but a flexible schedule can be helpful in giving your kids structure.

That way you don’t feel like you’re raising wild chickens on a farm.

If you are working from home, ensure that the schedule works for you. Because your kids’ lives are no longer determined by the school schedule, you get to make your own! That’s actually a great thing.

The easiest tasks to plan out are meal times and bed times. But I’m sure you probably already have meal times in your home. Keep meal times and bedtime the same, so that the transition to normal life isn’t too hard when they have to go back to school.

Once you’ve chosen meal times and a bed time, it’s time to actually plan activities.

If your kids are school aged, chances are that they are homeschooling. Throw in a few of their school subjects (Math, ELA, Science), give them many breaks in between, and they should be good. Luckily, many schools aren’t just throwing parents in the wind. They are giving them some work and websites to play on.

If you feel confused about what your child should be doing academically, reach out to your child’s teacher for some tips. This is also a great time to reach out to other friends who are in the same boat. Remember, you are not alone. Pretty much most parents in the world are going through this with you.

Also add clean up time and chore time on your schedule. Chores help kids learn vital life skills. They also create a sense of independence and competence.

Ensure that you include a time when your child can hang out with you. This is an amazing time to secure that parent-child bond. Yes, even teenagers need time with mom and dad.

Let’s not forget that self care is incredibly important during this season. If you’re not taking care of yourself, things become increasingly frustrating. Here is a link to some healthy habits you can incorporate for yourself.

2) Include time for free play

Although schedules are great for kids- because predictable lives help kids feel safe- do not over schedule them.

Just like no adult can go 8 hours without some type of break, your kids also need to be kids.

Little ones do well when they are able to just roam around the house using their imagination. Elf course you want to secure cabinets and other areas that could present safety hazards. Encourage the kids to get off the couch and just move.

I personally love the Nintendo Wii and other gaming systems that encourage movement. Of course, there has to be a fine line. You don’t want your kids staring at a screen all day, You get to decide how much screen time is too much.

Many parents are also using Go noodle as a way to get their kids moving and shaking. And if you want to get the kids moving without using screens, put on some music so the kids can just dance. You can even join in the fun.

Younger kids can build forts (yes, I know they look a mess, but they are so enjoyable), play with Legos, draw, color or paint. Older kids can also create art, read and engage in all sorts of crafts. They don’t have to sit in front of video games all day.

You are only limited by your imagination.

3) Stay connected virtually

One of the toughest things about social distancing is that kids are disconnected from their friends. They don’t get playdates, they don’t get to run around the neighborhood, and they do not get to engage in their usual extracurricular activities.

Enter technology.

Virtual playdates can help to maintain social connections. Create blocks of time when your kids can call friends on the phone or even video chat with them.

I recently discovered a app called Marco Polo. It’s pretty cool. You get to send short video messages to your loved ones. Both you and your kids will probably enjoy this.

Although this isn’t the same as an in person connection, it’s much better than being all alone. So get creative.

4) Let the kids help you

If your kids are old enough, now is the time to get your house in tip top shape. If you already have daily or weekly chores for your kids, make sure you continue with those.

And if you don’t, now could be a good time to implement new ones.

You do not have to use the word ‘Chore.’ You can say ‘Responsibilities,’ or ‘Tasks.’ Truth is every human has to have chores.

If you’re an entrepreneur, your business is an endless list of chores. If you’re a parent, keeping your kids alive is a series of chores. If you are an employee, keeping your job is an endless list of chores. Starting them young only prepares them for the future.

Chores are simply life skills that help your kids become healthy, successful adults.

Embed the chores into your daily schedule. You could have them make their beds each morning, put away their dishes, fold laundry or put their toys away.

Here is a blog post that details a bunch of age appropriate chores for kids.

Start with 1 or 2 chores, then build up from there. Your kids will thank you when they become competent adults!

5) Help your kids understand the new normal

This is a stressful and uncertain time for a lot of people. And of course, as a parent, you don’t have all the answers.

Explain the situation as best you can. Little ones definitely have no idea what a virus is, so maybe help them understand that we have to stay in our bubble for a little while.

For older kids, you could explain what a virus is, and let them know why we are actually practicing social distancing.

There is no need to go over numbers, charts and all the gritty details with them. Let them be kids. But reframe this situation as our new normal. Naturally, some kids will feel afraid. This is the time to validate their feelings, offer them comfort and let them know that you will be here with them.

I highly suggest keeping the news turned off so that kids aren’t terrified. Their little brains cannot possibly process what’s going on.

Because social distancing is such an unknown thing, structure will help kids feel safe and loved. But if the house feels chaotic, it could make them feel so much more uneasy.

Check in with them daily or every few days so that they can share their thoughts with you. Nothing connects a child to a parent more than love and attention.

How is social distancing affecting you and your household?

If you are feeling anxious about the current situation or struggling with insomnia, I’m here to help. I’m a therapist in Murrieta who offers therapy for anxiety, insomnia, as well as marriage counseling in the Temecula-Murrieta area. Due to social distancing guidelines, I am now seeing clients online. Click here if you’d like to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation so that you can finally shake your anxiety.

5 Simple ways to gain control of anxiety and fear

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