Most of us have heard of the fear of failure, but did you know that a lot of women actually have the fear of success? As a therapist in Temecula, CA, I hear about this a lot. Here's what to do if you struggle with the fear of success.
A lesson on showing up as the real you (even if your family doesn't understand you)
If you are the ‘Different one’ or the one who stands out in your family, it could be very difficult to show up just as you are. Or perhaps you’re still not sure who the real you actually is.
Maybe you were bullied, laughed at and basically told that you were not good enough. Maybe you had to spend your time trying to be like everyone else- begging to fit in. No matter how hard you tried, it just didn’t work. Sometimes when you are the non-toxic one in your family, you learn to build a persona to protect yourself.
Is your family toxic?
We all know that our behavior and the way we show up in the word, is a result of both nature and nurture. Some of us were born with a certain temperament, and then our environment also shapes us into who we are. But some grew up with family members that didn’t quite pour into us the way that they should. When we think of family, many of us think of kindness, warmth and validation, but for others, family relationships are quite complicated.
Can a therapist in Murrieta, CA help you?
You've felt lost and confused for years. Even though you put on a brave face for the people around you, your life feels miserable. You've lost your voice and you're not sure how to find it again. You pour all the energy you have into your family, but at the end of the night, you feel like you're left with nothing.
A therapist in Murrieta or Counselor in Temecula can help.
The first step is to find a therapist you trust. Finding a therapist is very much like learning to ride a bike. Finding a new therapist can be scary- whether they are a therapist in Temecula, a therapist in San Diego, a therapist in Riverside, or it’s counseling in Los Angeles.
Don't be afraid to ask the therapist a million questions. "Do you take my insurance?" "How many years have you practiced for?" "What's your specialty?" "Tell me how you work." "What's your cancellation policy?""Can you help me with my goal?" "How long will our sessions be?" Read my blog post on what to ask a therapist on a consultation call.
A therapist will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings and get you to your goal. I always encourage people - when they see me for counseling in Murrieta-to have a specific goal when they start therapy. This goal will ensure that both you and the therapist are clear on what exactly you're trying to accomplish. That way you can decide if you are on the right track and you can measure your progress.
Therapy can be uncomfortable as you might end up remembering painful memories or uncomfortable feelings, however, your feelings are safe with a psychotherapist (a fancy name for mental health therapist). Sometimes it takes some discomfort to get you to your desired place. Also realize that during your first few sessions, you're only trying to see if you're a good fit with this therapist. Don't be afraid to let the therapist know if something isn't working for you-openness leads to great results. Also don't feel bad if you don't click with the therapist. Keep searching until you find your person.
If you are seeking a counselor in California, I am a Black therapist in Murrieta, who offers virtual therapy for women of color with anxiety or insomnia, and marriage counseling for those in Murrieta, CA and throughout California, click here for a free 15-minute consultation call.