You can always tell the difference between a couple who is newlywed, and a couple who has been married for a decade. Newlyweds often look longingly into each other's eyes, they hold hands, they sit very close to each other and they just look like they are in love. They cannot get enough of one another.
Couples who have been married for a long time, unfortunately, sometimes look like they are sick of one another. There’s little to no eye contact, they say mean jokes to one another, they ignore one another and they just look like they don’t want to be in each other’s presence.
Let’s fix that. There’s no reason why your only interactions with your spouse should be just about paying bills, picking kids up from school and investing in your IRA plan. Let’s spice things up.
Here is a list of simple conversation starters you can use when next you are on a date with your spouse (remember what dates are?). Keep the conversation flowing naturally. It doesn’t have to feel like an interrogation or a job interview.
Here are some simple questions I use with my clients during our couples therapy sessions in Houston:
Why did you fall in love with me?
What do you remember about the day we met?
Where would you like to be in the next 6 months?
What’s your favorite memory of us?
What do you wish I knew about you?
How’s work going? What do you like/dislike about work right now?
What is your favorite color and why?
What are your hopes and dreams for our kids?
Why did you choose your specific career?
What is 1 thing you wish we could do in our relationship?
What’s your favorite scent?
What are some things that are on your bucket list?
What challenges are you going through at work?
What is your favorite memory of me?
Tell me about a hobby you would like to take up.
What type of husband/wife would you like to be?
What type of father/mother would you like to be?
What makes you happy?
What is something you’ve always wanted to do?
How do we take our relationship to the next level?
So try out these conversation starters and see how they go. If they feel awkward at first, that’s okay. Keep trying until it feels more natural. If you are ready to improve the friendship in your marriage and learn how to communicate comfortably, then marriage counseling in Houston might be right for you. Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation call for Christian marriage counseling in Houston.
About the author
My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist providing Christian marriage counseling in Houston and throughout California.
I help women who are struggling with anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.
Many of my clients are:
Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust
If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.