Christian Therapist for women with anxiety and trauma throughout CA &amp; TX

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 8/26/25 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 8/26/25

Doing Enough? How to Quiet the Voice That Says You’re Falling Behind

Do you constantly wonder if you’re doing enough? My blog explores how to quiet the inner voice that says you’re falling behind, offering practical and compassionate tools to find peace, redefine success, and embrace the pace that truly supports your well-being. Read more now.

Why High-Achievers Feel Like They’re Always Running Late to Life’s Party

If you are a high-performing, highly sensitive woman, chances are you constantly feel like you are falling behind. There’s an invisible race in your mind, and you’re never feeling like you’re in first place. But the truth is that your 100% is probably the 200% of the average person. Plus competition is just a figment of your imagination. Because most people are just running their own race without being focused on you.

And my gentle advice to you would be, consider living life at 80% because chances are your 80% is 100% of the average person. You constantly push yourself because you think that you should be doing more, pressing more, showing up more. And it shows up in your business, in parenting and sometimes in your spiritual life.

You think to yourself, “Other people accomplished XYZ at my age, so why am I still here?” But the thing you fail to realize is that we move at different paces in different areas of our lives. So you might have been the first 25 year old CEO of your company, but you feel like you are not the stereotypical Pinterest mom that you wish you could be.

Or maybe your kids are ahead of the curve. You feel very well engaged and settled with your family members at home, but in business, your startup has not taken off as far as you thought it would. Or you are the prayer warrior Christian woman who knows how to bring the heavens down, but you're really not sure if you are in the right career- even though you have been working in that field for over 10 years.

Take a deep breath.

You are exactly where you are supposed to be. How did you get here? Perhaps you were pushed too hard by your parents. Or maybe it is the opposite. Perhaps you saw your parents struggle, and you vowed that you never wanted to struggle like them. Or maybe you were often told that you needed to do more. People around you saw your potential, and it is your main goal in life to ensure that you exceed the potential that people saw in you, so that nobody says bad things about you. And if you are a woman who experienced trauma, perhaps you vowed that nobody would ever take advantage of you again. You never want to be a victim, so you ensure that you are knowledgeable in every single area of your life. You are hyperindependent – never wanting to depend on anyone or be caught off guard.

Learning to Rest Without Feeling Guilty (Yes, It’s Possible)

The word of God asks us to “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10). I often wonder what that means. In this busy, loud, overachieving world, stillness is viewed as a problem. As a sign of laziness or a lack of ambition. Stillness is hard to come by. We are busy looking at our phones, laughing at the latest social media videos, checking our schedules, jetting off to the next location, and chastising ourselves when we get too much sleep (as if it’s ever possible).

Maybe it’s time for you to slow down and actually enjoy all your hardwork. What use are your possessions, your home, your bed, your car, your friends, your money, the city you live in, if you actually never enjoy them? Hardwork is great, but you must learn to pause in the process. Because it is the pause that allows you to reevaluate your circumstances. It is the pause that allows you to get additional blueprints for life. It is also in the pause where you learn to have gratitude for all you are and have.

As a Christian therapist in Houston, I know there are so many people whose worth seems to be attached to their output. You feel worthy when your life is good. You feel worthy when you are booked and busy, when your phone won’t stop ringing, when you are sought after by many. But in the quiet seasons, you feel like you are no good.

Remember that your worth is not in your title or busyness. You are worthy just as a child of God. Whether or not you’re the brightest star in the room or you star barely shines, you are still worthy of love and all the good things life has to offer- because you are a child of God. And nothing can take that away from you.

Replacing the “I’m Not Doing Enough” Loop With a Kinder Inner Voice

At the surface, perfectionism is the thing that has gotten you where you need to be in your career. You’ve shattered glass ceilings, signed huge deals and done the seemingly unattainable. But the problem with perfectionism is that it is now affecting your self worth. You are always trying to top the last project. You are competing with not only yourself, but with other women around you. It just feels as if you’ll never attain you desired level. You have pushed yourself to the point of burnout.

If you are stuck in the “I’m not doing enough” loop, it’s time to break free. First know who you are in Christ. He saved you because He loves you. It’s not about your qualifications, appearance, credentials or the amount of work you put in. It’s just because He loved and loves you just as you are. Excellence, not perfection, is the goal. To be excellent is to do something to the best of your ability. You have to leave room for some mistakes, room for being tired and room for yourself to grow.

Here are some affirmations to say to yourself to help you break out of that perfectionism loop:

My worth is not tied to how much I accomplish.
I love myself, and because I love myself, I will give myself the gift of stillness and rest.
I will do my work excellently, not perfectly.
I stay in my lane. I do not compare myself to others.
I seek out relationships that value me for who I am-not for what I do.
The goal is to be kinder and gentler with yourself. Give yourself room to make mistakes.

How a Christian Therapist in Houston Helps You Redefine Success on Your Terms

As a Christian therapist in Houston, my job is to help you redefine success on your own terms. We’ll talk about your history with self worth and how you came to estimate your worth according to your work. I’ll help you focus on your goals without comparing yourself to others. Our work together will look like you breaking out of hustle culture and into a life that actually feels good for you. Because you are a brilliant woman who deserves joy. You will learn to do life on your own terms, while continuing to do excellent work.

Finding Peace and Perspective With a Black Therapist in Houston Who Gets It

When you are looking for a therapist in Houston to help you break free from the chains of perfectionism and low self worth, it is important that you find a therapist who is not only empathetic, but one who understands you from a cultural perspective. As a Black immigrant therapist in Houston, who is also a Christian, I understand the intersection of faith, mental health and culture. I understand that you cannot be expected to throw your culture away. I understand that you want to honor your parents and your family, while honoring God and navigating who you are in this season. Therapy is a place where sensitive, high achieving women can find their worth again and ditch the worry of not being enough.

Ask yourself, what would change if I believed I was enough?

You don’t have to prove your worth—it’s already settled. If you're weary from striving, therapy can help. As a Christian therapist in Houston, I walk with highly sensitive women who want to heal, rest, and reconnect with what really matters. Book your free consult call for therapy in Houston today.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 8/19/25 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 8/19/25

You Deserve Friends Who Pour Back Into You: A Guide for Isolated Women Entrepreneurs

Feeling isolated as a woman entrepreneur? You don’t have to do it all alone. My blog shares how to build friendships that nourish, uplift, and support you in return. Read now to discover why you deserve relationships that pour back into you.

Why So Many Brilliant Women Feel Alone

As a Black therapist in Houston who often sits before entrepreneurs, I know that many of the people who come to me are strong women who know how to do A LOT.

But because you know how to do a lot, does not mean that you should be doing a lot all of the time. When you are the backbone of your household, your family and/or your friend group, it can feel good. Because you feel needed, you feel intelligent and you feel competent. But the problem with being the go to, is that it can quickly lead to emotional isolation. Everyone dumps all of the things on you and expects you to pick up the pieces. Because of your strength, care and capability, people forget to check up on you. They just assume you’re fine. And because your reputation is one of a fixer and caretaker, you stop reaching out to people in vulnerability.

Maybe you’ve experienced trauma in your past. And that trauma taught you to put up your defenses. Because you’ve decided that you never want to be hurt again. So you make sure you have the upper hand in all areas. You’ve learned how to do so many things and you’re truly independent. But it has led you to one sided relationships in which you are the all knowing one. You are the one who pours into them, and they don’t have much to offer you. Even though you know you are safe- they can’t hurt you. But you feel burdened, bitter and lonely.

When was the last time you felt truly seen? When was the last time you felt safe enough to open up your heart to someone? To cry in the presence of someone? To say that you were not okay, rather than faking it and taking on the role of the strong one? I just know that your highly sensitive heart is wanting to be able to share your depth with others.

When was the last time you felt truly seen?

God’s Plan for Friendship and Community

Reflect on this scripture for a moment: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.“ Ecclesiastes 4:9–10.

It speaks to what friendship is supposed to look like. Friendship is supposed to be a balance of give and take. There is no reason why you should carry everybody's burdens, but have nobody to carry your burdens with you. A friendship should feel good and light to everyone involved. Because it is important to know that God desires you to have a soul nourishing connection with others. When we think about the relationship between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, we see that they are in sync with one another and they are in perfect unity. No one is carrying a heavier load than the other, rather they are doing the work together. With one mind.

Now of course we are human, so our friendships will not be perfect, but this is a great model to know that God wants you to be able to walk with others. Your friends should pour into you just like you pour into them. A good friend is someone you can go to with your joys, your cares, your fears and your weaknesses. They help build you up, they make you laugh, they are honest with you, but there is no judgment. They wan to see you shine as much as they want to shine themselves. They don’t suck the life out of you. And as a Christian therapist in Houston, I very much love helping highly sensitive women figure out how to navigate their friendships as adults so they can be nourishing and mutually beneficial.

Redefining Friendship: What to Look For

If you are in the market for a better friend, or you look around and find that you do not have friends that are trustworthy, here is a comparison between what a healthy friendship is versus a toxic friendship. In a toxic friendship, it feels like a competition. Your friend wants to outshine and outdo you. They do not think about your needs before they just offload on you. Sometimes they might laugh at you or even do things to demean or sabotage you. When you set a boundary with them, they act like they have heard or understood the boundary but they do not necessarily respect said boundaries. They constantly do things to get on your nerves and trigger you, even after you have communicated your dislikes. Unhealthy friendships feel like an energy suck and you constantly feel like you're being disrespected.

But healthy friendships are just the opposite. Even though you might have disagreements with healthy friends, they're usually willing to listen to your point of view and ensure that both parties are heard. They are mature in their behavior towards you and they're never trying to outdo you. They understand that there will be seasons in which you will shine brighter than them, and they will be able to give you the loudest applause even though it might not be their season to shine. They care about your feelings and the level of bandwidth that you have in each season. Life is not only about them. They know that there's enough room for both you and them to do well.

Healthy relationships can come in different arenas of your life. You can have healthy relationships at church, you can have healthy relationships with your friendships, and you can also have healthy business partnerships.

With church, they do not have you serve until you have nothing left in you. They understand that you have a life outside of the body of Christ and they're willing to also serve you as well. They know that your input is important and they're willing to hear you out. If they ever need to call you out or correct you, it is done in love rather then to embarrass you.

With business relationships and partnerships, they understand that both of you have a common goal. They're willing to listen to your point of view rather than going behind your back to implement things that you said you did not want. They always think of the common good before themselves. And when there are disagreements, they are willing to work with you to find a mutually acceptable solution. Compromise is important.

Safe Vulnerability: Letting Yourself Be Known

Sometimes you might unknowingly block new friendships from coming into your life because you’ve been told that you’re “too much” or “too needy.” As a highly sensitive person with deep empathy, who also experiences emotions deeply, perhaps when you were growing up, your emotions were not celebrated. And so you learned to mask them, to stop crying, to stop telling people when you were hurt, and you built an armor to become the strong woman that everyone knows today.

But know that it is normal to crave deep, meaningful friendships, as well as conversations that go beyond small talk and chit chat. Start with small, safe steps. Not everyone has to know the details of your life. But if you can trust someone with small things, they can probably be trusted with larger things. Start with sharing something that’s just a little bit deep to see hw they react. See what they do with the information. Is she empathetic? Does she judge you? does she bring other people into the conversation? Know that a gossip is a gossip everywhere. Meaning, if your friend is talking bad about others behind their backs, she is doing the same about you.

Was you throw small breadcrumbs, you will now when it’s time to go even deeper.

How Therapy Helps You Attract Healthier Connections

As you begin to heal from past struggles and the difficulties that you have experienced in past friendships, you will find that you will be more likely to be able to trust new friends that come into your life. As you build friendships, remember that you are not desperate. You're not in a hurry. Even though you feel lonely, you have to take your time before you can find out who actually deserves to be in your life. Take your time to figure out who these new people are in your life, take your time to determine whether or not you want them to be in your life, and remember that friendship involves reciprocal connection.

You deserve friendships that pour back into you. If you’re tired of doing life alone, therapy may be the path toward safe, healing connection. As a Christian therapist in Houston, I walk with women just like you. Book a free consult for therapy in Houston today.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are:

Couples who want to regain their friendship and trust

If you’re ready to take the next steps, click here.

Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 8/12/25 Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali 8/12/25

You Don’t Have to Carry It All: Releasing the Emotional Load You Were Never Meant to Hold

Feeling weighed down by responsibilities and emotions that aren’t yours to carry? My blog offers gentle, faith-informed guidance to help you release the emotional load, find rest, and embrace support. Read now to start letting go and reclaim your peace.

The Emotional Weight Highly Sensitive Women Entrepreneurs Carry

As a highly sensitive woman, people around you probably view you as strong, empathetic and capable. You are the go to for people at home and at work. They know that if they ask you to complete tasks, you will not only complete it, but it will be completed ahead of schedule, without mistakes and excellently at that. And because of this, you pride yourself in being a woman of excellence. You know that no one has to repeat instructions given to you. You even get excited when people marvel at how well you complete projects, how good you are with time management and how you’re able to juggle so many responsibilities without complaints.

But now let’s talk about the downside of excellence. You have gained a reputation for being so good a what you do, that you slowly became a people pleaser. Even in the moments when you know that the project is too much for you, you decide to take it on alone because you want to keep people happy. Because the expectations of others have grown too big for your shoulders, you have also developed a level of worry and anxiety. You’re trying desperately to maintain your reputation of the woman who does all things well. You also have started to work so much harder than most people. While you have increased in skill, the problem with this is you find yourself unnecessarily exhausted, you’re beginning to be resentful of others, and in all honesty, you’re enabling others to be lazy.

You find yourself breaking your back. Your new motto is- “I can keep going as long as everyone else is okay.” But are you okay? Do you enjoy sitting in burnout? Do you enjoy not using your voice? Although the people around you are pleased with your performance, you are tired. They applaud you, they smile at you, but they really don’t even know how burdensome life has become for you.

Chronic fatigue has set in. You struggle to sleep at night, because you are burning the candle at both ends. You can’t sleep peacefully because you are always worried about your immense workload. Or sometimes rather than rest, you bring work home. You wonder why your team won’t jump in or volunteer themselves for the job. And now you are completely annoyed and bitter. As a therapist for entrepreneurs in Houston. I see this all the time. You have become someone you are not proud of. You’re tired, you cry sometimes, you’re overwhelmed and you feel stuck.

Come to Me and Rest: Jesus’ Invitation to Lay Down the Load

Even though you currently feel stuck, know that you’re not actually stuck. There is always a way out. It is possible to work with excellence, without engaging in hustle culture. Hustle culture tells you “Sleep when you’re dead.” But the way of hardwork says “Do everything with excellence, be assertive and take care of yourself.” Notice that all three things can exist at the same time. Jesus knew we would have moments and seasons of tiredness, so He said:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).”

As a Christian therapist in Houston, I know very well that our behavior usually starts with the thoughts we have. One follows the other. The first step in laying your burdens down is to to identify what you burdens are. Get out a pen and a paper, take a deep breath, and begin to write out what your burdens are. Are they at home? At work? With your kids? In your marriage? With your family? About your health? Your self esteem? Are you doing too much? Too busy?

-What emotions are drowning you? It could be shame, anger, resentment, bitterness, overwhelm, depression or even anxiety. Write it all down. Because sometimes you are carrying something that God never asked you to.

-The next step is to repent for moving into a path that you were not asked to.

-Then step 3 is to ask God for clarity so you can begin to lay those burdens down.

Here is a simple prompt for you as you start on your journey to working hard without hustle and overwhelm. The first is an affirmation:

Today I choose myself. I choose my health. I choose wisdom and I lay down [insert burdens here].

I will speak up when I am overworked. I will rest when I am tired. I will assert myself when I am being stepped on. I will ask God for clarity before taking on another task. I put down the desire to be perfect or to please others. I desire to please God alone.

Trauma, Anxiety, and Over-Responsibility

If you have found yourself in the constant cycle of working harder than you should, do not be too hard on yourself. As a trauma therapist in Houston, I have seen time and time again that one’s behavior might be rooted in your upbringing and past experiences. You had so many difficult things happen to you that you are constantly on edge. You wish to stay under the radar so that you remain out of the crosshairs. You blame yourself for little mistakes on the job or at home, because that’s how it was when you were younger. You were expected to perform at a high level, you were never good enough and your opinions were not even considered.

And now you experience anxiety in every aspect of your life. Even though you are excellent at your job, you secretly worry that you’lll get fired or lose it all. You make a great living, but there is still fear that something will go wrong. As a mom, you are constantly doubting yourself and wondering if you’re failing. With your friendships, you only open up so much, because you have been hurt so much and expect that it’ll happen again.

Please know that you are not weak and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that you have been in survival mode. You stay on edge thinking that something bad will happen. But the great thing is that survival mode can be overcome. Even survival mode in highly sensitive women can be changed.

Emotional Release Is Important: Crying, Journaling, and Letting Go

I know that you have always had to hold it together for everyone around you. You are the go to- the woman with the strong shoulders. But it is time for you to move from survival mode to thriving mode. Let's first start by allowing yourself to actually express your emotions. Afteall, you are a highly sensitive woman who has deep emotions. And as a Christian therapist in Houston, I strongly believe that emotions are healthy and natural, as long as we utilize them well. I know that when you were growing up, nobody cared to listen to what you had to say. And when you finally were given a chance to express yourself, you were met with comments like "You're too sensitive,” “You cry too much,” Or “Why are you so upset?" But it is time to actually allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that you possess.

I'm not talking about being completely controlled by emotions. Of course you will continue to be a rational woman. But it is time to learn how to balance your rational mind with your emotional mind. Emotional expression is healthy and normal. Good emotional expression actually helps you tap into what you need, so that you can actually move to the stage in which you can talk to people about what you need. Emotional expression is also cathartic. The emotion moves from sitting heavily on your chest to moving out of your body. It is like laying down a heavy burden. By allowing yourself to express yourself emotionally, you actually begin to heal past wounds.

Some ways to begin to allow for emotional expression:

Learn to sit quietly alone and journal. If you’re not used to writing, then just meditate on a scripture that speaks about your current situation.
Write everything that that scripture is speaking to you. Don't force it, let it just flow naturally.
Then ask yourself how the situation or the scripture ties into what you need in this season. Ask yourself who can provide what it is that you need then begin to come up with a way to ask the person for what you need. Ensure that this is someone who can actually receive what it is that you have to say, not someone who is selfish or looking to trample you.
There also is some great merit in seeking emotional expression through therapy. I'm a Black therapist in Houston who is also a Christian therapist in Houston and I love working at the intersection of culture and faith. Doing a therapy session, this is a great time to release emotionally. You may speak, you may be silent, you may cry, you may complain, you may vent, but you will eventually get to a place where you begin to heal past wounds and resolve problems. You will learn how to give yourself what you need, be compassionate with yourself, but understand yourself, and finally be able to assert yourself in a gentle but clear way so that other people can have a better understanding of your emotional needs.

What Therapy for Christian Entrepreneurs Can Do

(Keywords: Christian therapist Houston, therapy for entrepreneurs)

Perhaps you have thought about going to therapy, but you wonder if it is worth the time and investment. You also know that your relationship with Christ is the most important thing in your life, and you wonder if Christian therapy even exists. You've heard a lot of stories about therapy and you just don't know if it is for you. But give it a try. Because therapy is not just healing, it is a way to strategically care for your soul. Because your soul is made up of your mind your will and your emotions.

In the process of therapy, your strength is renewed, you gain a great sense of clarity, you begin to understand how certain traumas have negatively affected you, you start to lay difficult burdens down and step into who the Lord actually wants you to become. Therapy can help you with better decision making both at home and in your business. You become more grounded and less controlled by emotions.

But I would not advise that you do therapy with just anyone. It is important to pick a Christian therapist in Houston who understands that engaging in therapy with someone who understands both your Christian faith and business can be transformative. Because you can only take your business as far as your emotional level.

You were never meant to carry everything alone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and unseen, I’m here. I offer Christian therapy in Houston for highly sensitive, high-achieving women, so that they can trade anxiety for rest. Book a free consult for Christian therapy in Houston now and let’s lighten the load together.

About

My name is Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California and Texas. I help women who are struggling with trauma, anxiety and insomnia. I also help couples learn how to speak each other’s language, date each other again and manage conflict in a non-painful way.

Many of my clients are: